Cold Hearted Bastard

Chapter 10

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Well, I happened to be allergic to lemons so screw life and whoever made that stupid analogy. Aspen was dead to me. It took me less than five minutes to figure that out but as I laid in bed for the majority of the day, he still seemed to cross my mind. Maybe the events of last night still lingered within me and my mind seemed to want to hold on to that moment of genuine kindness. Short-lived I had to admit though.

I turned my phone on silent, even though I was sure Aspen wouldn't try to reach out. He didn't seem like the caring type in the first place.

Groaning, I picked up my phone and checked my messages. Just two missed calls from Lily. I didn't allow myself to feel any disappointment.

A sudden knock on my door distracted me from my gloomy thoughts.

"What?" I snapped loudly enough for whoever that was to get a hint that I wasn't in the best of moods.

"Can I come in?"

Somebody was going to live long.

"No," I said to Aspen, who was still behind the closed door.

I rolled my eyes as the door swung open and threw an extra pillow at the unwanted intruder.

"Get out!" I screamed, feeling a range of emotions course through me. Mostly that of anger.

He caught the pillow with ease, resting it back onto the bed as he took a seat on the edge.

"Wynter, I had no idea..." He trailed off, searching my eyes.

"It doesn't matter Aspen just forget about it." I already was starting to see blurry again after an entire day of crying.

"How can I make it up to you?"

"Forget it, Aspen. What's done is done." I hated that I couldn't even stand to watch him.

"Well, I'm sorry." I heard him say as the bedsheet rustled. I squeezed my fist tightly, holding back the tears as best as I could do, refusing to make eye contact still. I hated him. Apology or not, it wasn't going to fix anything.

But still, I managed to look up in time to watch his retreating figure.

My week of rebellion started soon after that conversation. I was in a low place and there was no way anyone was going to pull me back up. So I decided to make Aspen and my dad's lives a living hell.

My dad did end up finishing his stern talk with me. He decided to up the number of times I saw my therapist and put me on a ban. The time period for the latter was still up for debate.

That same night I had snuck out and met up with two old childhood friends of mine that I was close with but not to the level that Lily and Chase and I were. We met up in a bar using our fake IDs to get in and had a few drinks. Yes, I had drunk after being sober for so long. I figured why not prove everyone right and just be the failure they made me out to be.

I had ended up getting home late that night, being sure to sneak as quietly as possible back to my room. Thankfully Meredith and my dad had been asleep. Who I didn't expect to see so late up at night was Aspen, who never bothered to say anything as I had walked past him, only looked at me with disappointment. I knew as I had walked past that I had reeked of alcohol and for sure he smelt it. What he thought of me, I didn't really care to know. In my mind, he was dead to me.

Days passed, one by one, blurring together. Every night I would sneak out after being locked in my room all day and get plastered. And every morning, before Meredith and my dad would wake up I'd sneak back in. Aspen used to be there every morning in the wee hours when most people would be sleeping. Part of me got a thrill from it. Imagining that he was up because he cared about me but I knew that didn't exist. He made it clear to me when he made his choice and sold me out. And the more rational side of me knew I hated him equally.

"What?" I snapped finally one early morning, a few days later, when it was still dark outside. I had cut it close that morning, grateful that nobody else was up.

I had started getting annoyed with Aspen's judgy stares every time I came home. It was like having a second father.

All he did in response was staring me down. I knew he had something that he was just itching to let out. And it was beginning to get on my nerves.

"Just spit it out." I slurred, flinging my hand angrily in his direction. I half expected him not to say anything further and leave me in my drunken stupor but then he surprised me. He got up from what I was starting to think was his favorite seat in the house and slowly lurked to me until his face was a hairbreadth away from my face.

"Your dad talks so highly of you. Straight A student, valedictorian of your class, so polite..and kind...and thoughtful. He paints you as the perfect little girl. But I know your type. You crave attention. You try to prove that you're not any of those things because you have a dark side. A side which you try so hard to repress that sometimes you slip up and do an innocent act of rebellion. You're histrionic as hell. That'll show everyone who you are, am I right? Your life is perfect and here you are fucking it up. It's disgusting." The sarcasm seeping from his voice nauseated me. It was like a slap to my face that I wasn't prepared for.

I bit down on my lip so hard that the taste of blood swelled in my mouth. I welcomed the metallic taste, savoring it as I tried to ignore the emotional pain that was threatening to succumb to me.

"You know nothing about me," I replied curtly. I knew my nose was flaring as tears threatened to fall. If he saw it happening he didn't show it. His face didn't show anything but disgust.

"You're right I don't." He said icily, "And I don't think I want to."

Before I knew it, he turned on his heel and left me alone.

I crumbled down to the floor and cried until my eyes might have bled. Somehow I managed to still make it into my bed. I was becoming a pro at being intoxicated.

The next night Aspen wasn't up when I got home drunk. Part of me hated the fact that I was disappointed.