Imagine If You Assembled the Avengers: Volume 1

We're Faced With Ugly Choices (Barton/Barnes x reader)

You stared blankly at the ceiling as they stitched your wounds and tried to feed you, but the starvation over the last few weeks had altered your stomach and diminished your tolerance for food, so you wanted nothing to do with it.  Eating was the furthest thing from your mind.

"(Y/N), we told your brother that we would feed you, but that bargain really only helps us to keep you alive to keep him in under our control.  If you won't eat, we have ways to force nutrition into you."

His words didn't make any difference to you and you held your silence; it wasn't a lie when you told Clint that you would rather that he let you go, releasing you from the torture that you had endured under HYDRA, and now by his own hand.  It wasn't his fault, though you knew that at this moment he was torturing himself with the thought of what he had done to you.  They had promised him that they would keep you alive, but only if he would partake in your torture as well. 

'I'm sorry, (Y/N), I'm so sorry.  I'm only doing this to save you.  I have to save you.'

Honestly, after this much time and this long of enduring beatings, starvation, electrocution, and systematic cuts into your skin, both deep and superficial, you weren't feeling much anymore, and the physical pain that Clint was forced to give you was minuscule in comparison to the emotional pain that you could see in his face.

~~~

"Mr. Barton, we've met our end of the agreement; we are in the process of repairing the wounds that you've inflicted, but she's refusing to eat."

Clint stood and bolted forward from the cold steel bed in the corner of his holding cell, slamming his fists against the thick glass window that kept him from reaching out and strangling the guard in front of him.  "Then you force it into her, do you understand?  She isn't in the right mind to make that decision for herself, but I sure as hell am!" He began to pace back and forth, the images of you running through his mind at a rapid-fire rate, barraging him with the sounds of your whimpers and cries as you tried to stay strong so that he would be spared the guilt, but you both knew that was pointless. 

'Clint, it's okay.  I understand, I know this isn't your choice.  Just please, let's finish this, for me.'

The guard stepped back and waved his hand to someone just out of Clint's line of sight, holding a hand on the door until they arrived.  "Mr. Barton, against the back wall, please."  The HYDRA agent raised his gun in warning so that Clint would do as he was instructed, keeping a sharp eye on his every move.

"Mr. Barton, we agree with you, so if she won't do as we tell her, it's best that you convince her to comply yourself."  They pushed you into Clint's room on a gurney, looking weak, malnourished, and empty. Once you were inside they closed the door again and left you with him, but he was afraid to touch you; he could barely even look at you without breaking down.

"(Y/N)?  (Y/N) can you hear me?  Hey, can you look at me, honey?"

Your head turned slightly to look at him, but the sudden movement made you dizzy so you immediately closed your eyes again and shook your head very slightly.  "I can't, I'm sorry.  My head hurts and I'm so lightheaded."

"Why won't you eat?  You know that was a part of why...why I did..."

"I'm not hungry."

"I won't let you starve to death.  I can't."

You sighed but it turned into a long yawn, and you felt your body relax for the first time since you had been taken, knowing it was because you were finally alone with Clint rather than in your own cold cell.  "Can we just sleep for a while?" you asked quietly, moving your arm to take his hand. "Could you lay by me for a while, please?  I need to sleep, and I feel safe with you here."