Desolate ▿ Teen Wolf

Missing in Action

That night I locked myself away. 

There was a thick tension hanging in the air and I didn't know what to do about it. Nobody knew what to do about me. I was different, and now they knew it.  Now they know that the assassin's did not want me dead- but alive. 

And nobody knew why. 

Nobody knew why I was more valuable alive than dead. And that made everyone terrified. But no more terrified than myself. 

With my back pressed against the wall and the open window above me, I pulled my legs up to my chest. My breathing was shallow and labored and my senses were going absolutely berserk. I could hear everything, even the slight catch at the end of Stiles' dad's exhale as he slept soundly in the room next to me. 

Ever since we returned from the veterinarian's Stiles has looked at me differently. I'm sure he's worried about me but it's not just that. 

The rest of the pack have been looking at me differently too. 

I think what really scared me was the fact that now they were suspicious. I'm the new girl. None of them know me. And all of a sudden assassins are coming and killing people and then when I get caught by one they keep me alive. 

A timid knock sounds on my door, my eyes darting up to the entrance of the room. "Terra? Are you okay." 

"I'm fine." I call out, gripping my head. 

"Can I come in?"

"No." I splutter out abruptly. 

A sigh is heard on the other end before I hear the soft footsteps walking away from my room. At least he listened for once. 

Stiles cares to much for his own good. 

I'm just going to get him hurt. 

Where ever I go people get hurt. Every time. Only the last time I got close to people they ended up dead, and I was forced to watch Tommy get dragged into that fire. 

I know it wasn't my fault. But it feels like it. 

Every time I picture that fire I think about what would have happened if I would have stayed in bed for just a little longer. Maybe they all would be alive. 

Or at least maybe I would be gone as well. 

It would be so easy. 

There would be no pain and I can guarantee that nobody would care. Maybe the person who has to fill out my death certificate. But other than that, nobody would care if I was still alive or not. 

But that was then, and if that were to happen now- all these people. 

My pack. They would be devastated. Even if they were a little bit suspicious of me now- if I just died they would still mourn. 

At least I think so. 

Now not so much. 

They've been through so much- and I'm just another burden. 

And Stiles. I can tell he cares about me so much. More than the others. 

But I can't allow him to get any closer. I don't deserve it. And he shouldn't have to suffer through my hell. 

My fingers clench against my knees, sharp claws digging into my knee caps and a small trail of blood trickling down my leg. The pain is numbing- nothing compared to the stabbing pain in my chest. 

I know it is not a physical pain- but a pain of the heart. 

I was only kidding myself- thinking that for once things would be different. But I should have known better.