I Don't Want To Be Your Secret (Josh McClorey & Pete O'Hanlon/The Strypes)

Chapter 12

Estelle's P.O.V.

I've been feeling miserable ever since Amy got into the hospital. Hanging out with Pete this weekend had made my mood a little better, but it sunk to the ground again when he completely ignored me in school.
I guess I still didn't know the real Pete. And I really wanted to get to know the real Pete, but it looked like his behaviour this weekend was all an act.

I was sitting at my table, waiting for Photography to begin. Pete walked into the room, just before the bell rang, and sat down next to me.

"I have graded your homework this weekend." Mr. Jefferson said as he closed the door and walked to his desk.

He flipped through some papers and grabbed one. "Anyone mind if I read them out loud?"

A few people shook their heads, so Mr. Jefferson started reading the grades out loud.

I was one of the first ones, because of my last name.

"Browning, 95 out of 100. Excellent job!" Mr. Jefferson said with a smile.

"Congrats." Pete whispered at me as he drew a happy face on my notebook.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

"O'Hanlon, also 95. Did you and Estelle work together? Your works look alike." Mr. Jefferson asked.

I shook my head while Pete said; "We didn't. We just took the same place I guess."

"At the same time?" Mr. Jefferson snorted. "Alright, it's okay. Art is art and you both did what the assignment told you to do. So congrats to the both of you for scoring a 95!"

"Why is he thinking we did our homework together?" I whispere at Pete as Mr. Jefferson turned to the blackboard.

He shrugged, "I guess because we both have taken photos in the forest."

"Can I see yours?" I asked politely.

"No." He quickly said as he turned to the board.

"Sorry I asked." I mumbled to myself as I scribbled down some notes.

As soon as class finished, Pete rushed out of the classroom. Chaotic as he is, he left half of his notes and papers. I sighed as I grabbed his stuff and walked off. Hopefully I would find him in the hallway or near his locker.

I gave the bunch of papers a quick look and saw Pete photo folder. I knew it was wrong to look at his work, but I just really wanted to know what he had been working on.

I opened the folder and took a quick look. To my surprise I saw myself on a bunch of photos. Pete had been taking photos of me, while I was taking photos in the forest, and handed it in as his assignment.

This was pretty weird.

I closed the folder and went looking for Pete. Luckily I found him standing alone by his locker, searching his backpack.

"Looking for this?" I said as I held his notes, papers and folder in front of him.

He quickly grabbed it and put it in his locker. "Have you been looking at it?"

"Geez, no 'thank you'?" I snorted as I crossed my arms in front of my chest and leaned against another locker.

"Thanks." Pete sighed, "But honestly, have you?"

"I have." I stated. "I'm sorry."

"What did you see?" He asked nervously. He kept looking around, as is he was thinking someone was looking at us.

"I saw the stalker photos you took of me, if that's what you're so worried about." I kind of snapped.

"I can explain." He quickly said.

"Go on then." I said as the schoolbell rang.

Pete bit his lower lip and looked even  more nervous, "not now. I'll uh let you know."

"By throwing a paper plane to my head?" I said sarcastically.

"I'll let you know." He said as he quickly turned around and headed to his next class.

Why don't you just try the same thing that Amy did?!

That was the first thing I read when I sat down on my seat. Someone, I'm pretty sure who it was from, had left me this note on my table right before class.

I grabbed the piece of paper, crumbled it and tossed it in the trash bin. I heard some laughing behind me, but I decided to let it go.

After the last class I walked up to my locker to change my books. As soon as I opened it, I saw a note that said 6:30 at my place.

I fold it in half and put it with my notes. I quickly rushed to the hospital to visit Amy.
As expected, I saw Josh walking out of the room as I was about to go in.

We both didn't say a word to each other. Josh gave me a nod, but I looked away. I still wasn't sure why he kept visiting her. Maybe he felt guilty?

Amy still wasn't awake, so I just held her hand and talked a little bit to her. Maybe she's hear it.

"God Mimi, I miss you." I sighed as I gave her hand a little squeeze. "Please wake up soon. I wanna hang out with you again, like we did before. I miss you so fucking much."

I didn't want to cry while she was laying here, so I decided to go home and have a quick dinner.
But as soon as I got home, I started to cry. I finally let it all out.

With my eyes still red from crying, I walked up to Pete's place about an hour later.
He'd better have a good reason for those photos.

I knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it.

It took quite some time, but eventually Pete opened the door.

"Fuck, I forgot you were coming." I cursed quielty.

"Wow hello to you too." I said as I raised an eyebrow.

I heard some noise and voices from the living room and Pete looked back over his shoulder. "This isn't a good time."

"You asked me to come here, so it's not my fault." I stated. This was getting annoying.

I heard one of the voices become stronger and someone walked up to Pete. "What's taking so long?!"

Evan came standing next to him and looked at me. "What's the pathetic dumbo doing here?"

He snickered as he kept looking at me. I looked at Pete, but he looked away from me.

"She forgot what the photography homework was." He stated.

"Gosh she really is dumb then, that she can't even remember that." Evan laughed.

Pete shrugged a little, "I guess."

He closed the door right before my nose, without looking at me or saying anything.

I had a lump in my throath the whole way back to my house. As soon as I got home again, I kissed my mom good night, ran upstairs and locked myself in my room.
I wanted to cry, I really did, but I couldn't. I was more angry than sad. Angry at Pete, for being a fucking asshole. But also angry at myself, for letting him get to know me and trusting him.

The cuts I made that night weren't because of him. They were because of me.