Recollection ★ Bucky Barnes

I'll Bring You Back

Marlena pulled Bucky through the massive house and down the main hallway. The two soon came to a large wooden door at the end of the hallway, and Marlena smirked up at him before opening it up and switching on the light. She let go of his hand so she could assist herself in climbing down the stairs. There was a very strong possibility she would trip down the stairs if she weren't holding onto the railing, and she didn't necessarily want to take Bucky down with her.

"What is this place?" Bucky asked as he stepped off of the final step. He gazed around at all of the many different boxes, trinkets, and old pieces of furniture scattered throughout the room. There were several other doors off to the side, but he didn't focus too much on them.

"This is the basement where we keep all of our family memorandums and stuff like that," Marlena answered him as she strolled over to a large box labeled JO. "Every single last one of my grandparents are dead—both great and grand—so we got all of their belongings, including my great grandfather's."

She knelt down and pulled the box open and began pulling out picture frames, photo albums, and even several articles of clothing. All of her great grandfather's belongings hadn't been touched in years, which made the process far more emotional than she originally anticipated it to be. She was barely six years old when her great grandfather died, and although she was very young, she still remembered every single thing about him. He—along with her grandfather—treated her like one of his own children. He loved her more than anything in the world, without the exception of his own son, of course. Besides her dad and her grandfather, he was one of the most important men in her life. She could only wish he was here to be reunited with the friend who had saved his life, the friend he thought he had lost so many years ago.

"Hey, are you okay?" Bucky asked as he noticed the intense expression on her face as she stared at a picture. It was a picture of her and her great grandfather that she had never seen before, which had made her particularly emotional.

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at Bucky, lightly tossing the picture back into the box. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just miss him is all."

Bucky gave her a small smile in understanding and she returned it before looking back down into the box. She began rummaging through the box again and pulled out several remaining photos. She handed the pile of albums and photos to Bucky, who gave her a look before taking them and moving to sit on a very familiar sofa. Marlena followed behind him and plopped down beside him, taking several of the photos and albums to relieve him of the amount.

She was more than ready to begin sifting through them, but a glint in the light caught her eye, and she looked down to find what looked to be metal where Bucky's left arm should be. She was intrigued almost immediately and reached out to grab it without even thinking. This startled Bucky greatly; he had completely forgotten about the situation regarding his arm, not to mention, his metal arm was the strongest limb attached to his body, and he could very easily harm her with it if he wasn't careful.

"Your arm is metal," Marlena chimed as she twirled the appendage around. "Is this what Hydra did? They gave you a new arm?"

He let out a shaky breath and nodded. "Yeah, they did." He feared she would be frightened by it, but it was much the opposite.

"That's so cool," she chuckled, "At least you don't need a bottle opener."

He couldn't help but smile at the brunette, who was now sifting through the pictures on her lap. Bucky decided to open up a photo album, and almost immediately he was met with a tidal wave of memories. A large picture sat in the corner of the page and he studied the eight men on the page, the version of himself before the Winter Soldier was born included. He began to receive flashes of memories involving each man in his mind, flashes that elicited dozens of emotions ranging from happiness to sadness. He knew these men; he knew them better than anyone, especially the man adorned in the famous red, white, and blue suit. These men were the Howling Commandos, the men he fought alongside with during World War II.

He looked up at Marlena with glistening eyes. "I know them."

Marlena sighed and looked down at the picture she had in her hands; it was a picture of her great grandfather and Bucky in New York before they left for England. She pushed it towards him and he took it from her hands, lifting it up to study it. His face fell when he realized that it was a picture of him and Joseph, both in their army attire. As he looked over it, he began to remember very small snippets of the life he once lived. It wasn't so much as to bring all of his memories back as he would've liked it to, but it was most certainly enough to completely liberate all of the human emotions that the Winter Soldier was programmed to forget. He was overwhelmed with dozens of emotions, so many that he didn't know what he should feel. The only thing he could think to do in the midst of the situation was break down, which is exactly what he did.

Bucky let out a throaty growl and brought his hands to his head, grasping his long hair between his fingers in aggravation. The tears burned in his eyes as he looked down at the picture on his lap, as well as the picture in the photo album. The Winter Soldier's walls had finally been broken down, allowing only a small part of James Buchanan Barnes to push his way through. In that moment, he was no longer the deadly assassin Hydra had built him to be, and instead he was that broken boy from Brooklyn who wanted nothing more than to have his life back. He was fighting a battle within himself, one that he feared he would lose. He didn't want his life to be controlled by this monster anymore, he didn't want to live with pain and remorse anymore.

For the first time in over seventy years, Bucky let out a sob, startling Marlena. He stood up rather abruptly, sending the many albums and pictures falling to the floor. His anger was slowly consuming the sadness but did nothing to consume the burning tears. The destructive nature of the Winter Soldier was surfacing inside him, causing him to knock several items to the floor. It wasn't until he punched through a mirror that he managed to subdue the urge to destroy anything else. He turned around to look at Marlena when he remembered where he was, and through his tears he could see her looking at everything on the floor with wide eyes and her mouth slightly agape. There was an ample amount of fear in her hazel eyes, and he knew then that he had messed everything up, which only saddened him more.

Marlena was not scared of Bucky's violence though. She didn't even care about the fact that he had laid waste to her grandmother's old mirror or the items in the boxes. The only thing she feared was seeing him the way he was: so defeated, so vulnerable. It upset her and even triggered a few tears to fall from her eyes as well.

"Bucky?" she spoke quietly as she stood up.

He bit his lip to fight back the remaining tears and shook his head before practically crumbling to the floor. The pain was overwhelming him to the point where he couldn't even begin to try to handle it. Marlena frowned and walked over to him, kneeling down to his level. She placed a hand on his shoulder and he jumped slightly before looking up at her, a very distant—almost exhausted—look in his eyes. The tears had stopped flowing by now, but his face was still stained with the liquid while his eyes were red and slightly swollen from the intensity of his tears.

Marlena didn't think twice before pulling the super-soldier to her body, much to his surprise. He was too emotionally drained to even think about returning the gesture—not that Marlena particularly minded—but he appreciated it nonetheless. It gave him a sense of comfort, a comfort that he wouldn't have if he were alone. He had forgotten what it felt like to have someone there for him, and these past couple of hours being with Marlena had reminded him just how incredibly amazing it felt.

"I promise I'll do whatever I can to take the pain away, Bucky," Marlena assured him. "I will bring you back if it's the last thing I do, okay? I'm gonna get you through this—I won't let you down."

The only thing Bucky could do was sigh and allow the immense relief and gratitude to replace the negative emotions inside his body as he felt the sincerity of her words.