Over My Dead Body (Parker/Avengers x reader)

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Today was finally the day that Peter let you fly with him, swinging from building to building, and it was everything that you imagined it would be. You had been dating for six months, and until now he had always said no, fearing that your parents would find out and track him down; between Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff, he could be killed in more ways than he knew even existed and before he could know what was happening to him.

"Uh, Pete, you're getting really close to the tower," you warned as you held him tightly. "Are you feeling brave today?"

"Shoot! Hold on!" he laughed as he quickly changed directions, pulling the two of you away from the view of the Avengers headquarters, now much clearer than you felt comfortable with. You had yet to tell your parents that you had begun dating Spiderman of all people, knowing how protective they were of you and that they would immediately disapprove of it. Even if by some miracle they were okay, the rest of the team would never allow it; when they got together they were worse than your own parents.

"Where should we go today? I think we've covered most of the city."

"I seem to remember a promise of dinner?" you smirked, your head pressed tightly against his chest and your arms around his waist. The winds were picking up a bit, blowing your hair around wildly as he swung from point to point. "Anywhere in the lower burrows would be great."

Knowing exactly what you had meant, you could feel his laugh rumble through his chest and felt his free arm tighten around you, "you're seriously worried that they'll catch us, aren't you?"

"Pete, you don't even know. If you really want to be a part of the team someday, this isn't the way to make a good first impression."

"I think you worry too-"

His words were cut off abruptly when the familiar sounds of the Iron Man suit approached and a metal arm pulled you from Peter's grasp. Your eyes had reflexively closed at the shock, but when they opened, you froze at the sight of your boyfriend firmly grasped in Tony's other arm. He hadn't just taken you away, he was dragging you both in for a fate you feared to imagine. "I told you to stay clear of the tower," you silently mouthed angrily to him so that Tony wouldn't hear.

"I'm sorry!" he returned silently, though his expression was anything but remorseful. He was too busy looking at the suit, in complete fanboy mode. "Hey, Mr. Stark, which model are you flying today? Mark 43? No, 45?"

"Quiet, sticky fingers."

"Tony, come on, do we really have to do this?" you asked, trying to appeal to his softer side. "I thought you were the cool one."

"I am, sweetheart. But that makes me no less afraid of your parents."

~~~

Tony landed in the hangar but didn't release either of you, instead taking you directly to the conference room and dropping each of you firmly in a seat at either end of the large table, as far away from each other as you could get.

"Don't move," he warned, stepping out to remove his suit and to call the others. The door hadn't even shut yet when your father entered, holding his bow. He took a position at the corner, drawing an arrow from his quiver and standing at the ready towards Peter.

"Dad, are you serious right now? What do you think he's gonna do?"

"He doesn't have to do anything, (Y/N). This is for when we're done."

Your eyes widened as you looked back at Peter, his expression finally matching yours when he realized that Clint wasn't joking. Spinning your chair around, you stood and walked towards your dad, now becoming angry that this had gone so far. "Are you gonna shoot me too, dad? Because I'm as much a part of this as he is."

"Sit. Down."

With a loud huff you crossed your arms and fell back into your chair, turning so your back was to him. In only a moment, the room was filled with the team of overprotective Avengers who couldn't just mind their own business. You looked around at the stern faces and noticed one missing; your mother.

"Wait, isn't mom going to have her say in this?"

"She's on her way," Steve replied, annoyingly tapping his pen on the table, so loudly that you stood up and made your way to him, slamming your hand over it to stop the unbearable noise.

"I didn't know I was here for torture."

"Sorry, bad habit," he mumbled, putting the pen in his pocket and pointing you back to your chair. "Okay, so (Y/N), how long have you two been dating?"

"Six months, Captain America, sir." Peter interjected with a look of complete shock and excitement on his face at the sight of the Avengers all around him.

"I didn't ask you, Parker, but thanks."

After Steve broke the ice with the first question, they came at a rapid-fire pace after that, with each member of the team throwing them out almost too fast for you both to keep up. Your mother still hadn't arrived yet, so you began to worry that these questions were the easy ones and that they were saving her for last to drive the whole thing home.

"Have you ever dropped her from a dangerous height?"

"(Y/N), have you been there during any of his fights?"

"Has he kissed you yet?"

"Have you...you know...fondued?"

"Steve, seriously, that not what it means!"

"Wait, so have you?"

Your back straightened at the sound of Clint's arrow being pulled back, waiting for the answer. Peter looked at you with a grin, clearly not thinking that your dad would shoot him. The boy had a lot to learn if he was going to last with you, and certainly if he ever wanted to be a part of this group.

"Barton, put it down," Natasha barked as she finally entered the room. "they haven't done anything." She made her way over to Peter and stood next to him, leaning down to whisper something in his ear with a brief glance towards you.

"Are you sure?" he whispered back, receiving only a nod from her. He raised his hand, palm up and wrist pushed forward, closing his eyes just as the web shot forward and pulled Clint's bow from his grasp. It landed in Peter's hand before anyone realized what had happened. A collective gasp filled the room and your jaw dropped so far open that you swore it hit the table.

"MOM!"

"Nat, what the hell?"

"Parker here is helping me make a point," she replied calmly, taking the bow from Peter's hands. "Threats aren't the way to approach this, and neither is ganging up on them. I'm fully aware that they've been together, and I know every move they've made. Don't you think that if I saw something I didn't like that I would intervene?"

"Wait, wait, wait," Peter interrupted, holding his hands up to silence the room, "what do you mean, you know every move we've made?"

Your mother turned to him again, this time placing a hand on the chair on either side of his head, pushing it to tip him back and off balance just slightly. "You know who I am, so I'm going to act like you didn't just ask me that, webs-for-brains. And let's be clear, if you so much as lift her off the ground again, you can bet your ass that you'll never forget exactly what I can do."

"For a spider, you'd think he'd know not to mess with the Widow," Tony scoffed, looking at you. "Webs-for-brains. I gotta write that one down if this kid sticks around." He glanced around the room, looking at each person eagerly and waiting for a response. "Get it? Spiderman...webs...sticks around...?"

"That was a good one, Mr. Stark," Peter said with a strained laugh, "you're really funny, sir."

Steve leaned forward in his chair with a grin and a quick wink to you, "you know, maybe we're focusing on the wrong relationship. Tell me, Mr. Parker, how long have you been a disillusioned fan of Iron Man?"


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