Bad Boys Don't Smile / phan

chapter nineteen

// pic to make you smile because this chapter most definitely won't.

warning: this is the last chapter aside from an epilogue ^_^ //

warning: if suicide effects you significantly don't read!

dan

*three weeks later*

Dan is not enjoying his new school.

It's making him miserable. He's become the 'bad boy' there already. Everyone avoids him, he spends classes hanging around the back of classrooms, getting high.

Every single day has made his mood drop even lower, made the darkness consume his mind a little more. He's losing it, he's losing hope, light, everything.

As his mother is improving, Dan is worsening. She's beginning to be a mother for Shawn, meaning Dan no longer has a reason to stay stable. He's no longer needed.

No one needs him, that's what Dan thinks anyway. He's so utterly alone and lost in the dark. Dan closes his eyes, smoke falling from his lips as he exhales. He throws away the burnt out cigarette before straight out leaving school.

Dan doesn't need an education, he doesn't plan on sticking around long enough to use it anyway. He's done, he knows that, it's just a matter of time now.

A matter of finding the right time.

Dan puts earphones in, shuffling his playlist and closing his eyes as he walks, the music filling him up inside.

I ponder of something great, my lungs will fill and then deflate.

Dan passes his old school, where it's currently lunch. He wanted to pay a visit to Phil, before he leaves him forever. But Dan isn't sure if he can bring himself to do that anymore.

Dan looks up, dark clouds brewing in the distance. A storm is approaching, but for now, the weather is merely overcast. Dan looks to his right, spotting Phil sitting at the lunch table under the tree with his friends.

Phil doesn't look happy though, just sort of, deflated. He smiles, but there's bags under his eyes, his eyes have lost their usual shine, now they just look glazed over.

Phil suddenly looks over, making eye contact with Dan. Dan freezes, his eyes widen and feet rooted to the pavement beneath him. Phil stands, running over to Dan, who has just begun to function again and started to turn away.

Phil grabs onto Dan's arm before he can run away. Phil's grip is tight, his skinny fingers wound tightly around Dan's pale wrist. Dan turns back around to face Phil.

"We need to talk," Phil says angrily.

"Then talk," Dan says, "but I have nothing more to say to you."

"Come with me," Phil snaps, tugging Dan away from school and between two buildings a couple of meters down.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Phil asks angrily once they're away from unwanted eyes and ears, "you can't tell someone you love them and then just leave forever!"

"Watch me," Dan says, "it's for the best Phil. Trust me."

"No Dan! Don't you see?! I love you Dan! You can't just leave me, I won't let you!" Phil yells angrily, slamming his fists into Dan's chest, "don't give me that bullshit about it being the best for me because it isn't! You walked into my life and changed me Dan, you made me fall for you!"