Bucky Barnes One Shots

2. Confessions

Setting: Ten months after The Winter Soldier

You'd met Bucky Barnes seven and a half months ago. To say he was emotionally unstable was an understatement; Bucky was utterly distraught.

Steve Rogers, your closest, and though you'd hate to admit it, your only friend, had brought the disoriented man with the luscious brown locks to the Avengers Headquarters several weeks after after he and the Avengers had gotten him away from HYDRA.

A few months before meeting Steve, you'd been fresh out of the police academy. Unfortunately for you, there wasn't much luck in finding a squad that would hire you. However, after you'd befriended the incredible Captain America, you ended up working for Maria Hill. The job was exhausting, but a dream come true.

"Guys, this is Bucky. He's an old friend." Steve had introduced the man, giving him a reassuring smile as everyone introduced themselves to the super soldier.

"I'm (y/n)," you'd smiled, holding out your hand for the timid man to shake. "It's nice to meet you, Bucky."

You could still picture his eyes when he first saw you, a soft, cool blue. You could still feel the warmth of his hand as he hesitantly shook your's.

Those days were history.

Now, Bucky was no longer shy around you. In fact, you were one of the few people that he felt safe around. You'd grown closer over the past seven months and to say the least, you were holding back some serious feelings for that man.

He always seemed to linger in the back of your mind, no matter how many days went by without seeing or hearing from him; Fury had Steve and Bucky going on missions fairly often and Maria kept you busy all the time.

It was well around two in the morning when you were woken from your slumber by a rather eager knock on the door. You'd fallen asleep on the couch while watching one of those weird, low budget science fiction movies that Steve picked on you for enjoying.

Upon opening the door of your apartment, you were met with the smell of men's cologne and the face of a very sleepy Bucky Barnes. It had been three or four days since you'd last seen him; ironically, it also looked as if he had not slept since then, either.

"(Y/n), I'm sorry for barging in like this. Did I wake you?" He hesitated, entering your apartment without being asked. He and Steve made themselves at home there whenever they pleased; you were pretty much responsible for teaching them the ways of the 21st century.

"Oh, no. I look like this all the time." You yawned, referencing to your disheveled hair and pajamas. You shut the door behind Bucky, rubbing your eyes sleepily. "What's wrong, Buck?" You asked worriedly, watching him pace back and forth in your small living room.

"I can't sleep. I haven't slept in days. I've been drinking coffee a lot, but that's not what's keeping me up." He spoke quickly, his hands twitching at his sides. Sure, the caffeine was not affecting him at all.

"Why can't you sleep? Nightmares?" You questioned him, sitting on the couch again, wrapping a blanket around yourself.

"No," Bucky sighed, "well, yes, but no. It's just," he stopped himself, his eyebrows pulling down in frustration. He sat beside you, his eyes focusing on his hands—more specifically, his metal hand.

"Hm?" You leaned back against a fluffy pillow, sleep threatening to consume you.

"I keep having nightmares, but not about HYDRA." He looked at you with round, blue orbs. He looked so lost; he'd looked that way ever since you met him and it still hurt you to see him struggling like this.

"Then what are the nightmares about?" You asked, fighting to stay awake.

"Losing control," Bucky admitted, a frown forming on his face, "and losing you."

"You're not gonna lose me, Bucky. You, and Steve, are my best friends." You reassured him, but it wasn't enough for him.

Bucky shook his head, running his flesh hand through his long hair. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but he couldn't find the right words to say it.

"Buck?" You repeated, trying to regain his attention. His gaze refocused itself on you again, his bottom lip disappearing beneath pearly white teeth.

"I just want to protect you, (y/n)." He sighed, reaching over for your hand, something he'd done fairly often when you two had your talks about HYDRA and life struggles in general. It made him feel more in control.

"That's not your job, Bucky. Besides, I think we both know I'm capable of protecting myself." You chuckled, trying to dismiss the feeling in your gut that made you think Bucky meant more than what he said.

"Listen to me." He squeezed your hand gently, trying to make you understand. He was never good with words and he probably never would be, especially not now.

"I'm listenin'."

"Seeing you once every few days isn't enough for me. I want to see you every day. I want to talk to you every day. I want to protect you." He gave you a soft smile, but it faded as he seemed to strike realization. "I want you." He sounded so serious, so frantic—so worried that you wouldn't want him.

You sat there shocked, your lips parting in surprise. You had no words. None. Bucky was never the type to talk about his feelings, unless it had something to with HYDRA.

"Bucky," you started, a look of surprise still obvious on your face.

"I know," he interrupted, his head lowering in embarrassment, "you don't deserve a burden like me."

"That's not what I was—" You tried to explain to him what you meant, but he interrupted you yet again.

"I'm messed up. I will never be normal; I'll never fit into this world. I—"

"BUCKY!" You tried, a small smile creeping onto your lips. "I want that, too. I have for months." You admitted, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

"Really?" Bucky's cheeks flushed pink, his baby blue eyes meeting yours.

You nodded, still unable to wipe the goofy grin off of your face. What was even more amusing was that Bucky seemed even more flustered than you did.

"Really." You continued to smile, leaning towards him to plant a kiss on his stubbly cheek.

And that's the story of how you and Bucky Barnes sat on your couch for the remainder of the night, talking and laughing, and more importantly, beginning your lives together.