Chapt. 11: Jas

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We stood at the door waiting for Jayson to open it. I looked around as Josiah knocked on the door again before it swung open. "Come in y'all, my bad."

We stepped in and followed Jayson to the living room. Josiah being the big baby that he is sat right next to me, literally no space. "So what's up? Let me know something."

Jayson sat on a rolling computer chair in front of us. He leaned back and shifted his hat on his head. "Ugggghhhhh where do I start?" Josiah smacked his teeth. "The beginning."

"I don't want to make you hate your mom, but she's the reason." Josiah was so close I could feel his breathing getting heavy. I patted his leg as Jayson continued. "Your mom was around from day one, she was his high school sweetheart. They broke up, he met my mom. They dated for awhile, got married, I was conceived on their wedding night..... Uhm, it didn't last long cause your mom came back in the picture. She made dad 'divorce' my mom. But he never got a divorce, just seperated. Dad told my mom she had to stay away from him and your mom, he would pay her 3k to do so. For awhile dad would sneak and still see me, he would sneak because it was your mom who made him tell my mom, Tina, to stay away and she made him pay her the money. His life was on the line."

Jayson shifted in his seat and rubbed his chin. "The same happened with Jasmyne mom. They broke up, he met Ms. Livi and they had Jasmyne six months later. He was so happy to have a baby girl, he had all these things he wanted to teach you and give you. But then Josiah mom came back in the picture. Threatened dad into telling Ms. Livi to stay away and gave him 3k to pay her to do so. Once again his life was on the line. But as with me, dad use to sneak to see Jas, then he finally stop because Ms. April became suspicious. Dad never stepped out on Ms. April again. That's when they had you years later, she use to fuss about him having two other kids by different women but haven't filled her up with her own. Ms. April was very pushy, she knew how to get her way."

"How you know all this?" I looked at Josiah who's face was red. "The night before dad died he didn't come home did he?" Josiah shook his head. "He knew what was coming. But he also knew he couldn't get away from Ms. April easily. He didn't come home cause he came to see me. I'm the oldest and he knew I'd get it done... Uhm, he came and told me everything. He told me he'd had enough of his life being threatened, of not being able to see his other two children. Your mom didn't want you to know about us, she wanted to give you siblings but had over 5 miscarriages trying to."

Jayson stood up and got two envelopes out his bag. "Dad knew what would happen and left you two these letters. He said for yall to read them aloud. He sat at my desk in my dorm room and wrote you two these letters. There's a picture in there that I took that night also. He tried going to the police but he had no serious evidence, they wouldn't do anything, they told him to man up and stop being a wuss. He knew getting a restraining  order wouldn't mean shit."

Jayson handed us the letters. I ran my fingers across my name neatly written in cursive across the front. "I'll go first."

"Hey babygirl. If you're reading this your brother Jayson has found you and Josiah and told you both what really happen. I never intended to not be in your life. I'm sorry things played out the way they did. Your my only girl, I wish everyday I could rewind time and teach you how to walk, how to ride a bike, how to spell your name. I have your mother's friend send me pictures of you all the time. I also know your into girls. Just know daddy's not mad at you, I support you and I love you. I'm so sorry Jazzy bear. Know that I watch over you everyday. I'm so proud of the woman you've become baby. Be a great aunt to your nephew Ja'Navi... I want you three to get into church and accept what has happen. Keep up the good work, keep your brothers in check. I love you. - Daddy"

Tears ran down my face as Josiah opened his letter.

"Lil Maurice, my baby boy. If you're reading this your brother Jayson just told you what really happen. Son, I know what your mother has done to me is weighing heavy on you. But don't hate her, and always respect her, she's still your mother. I knew this day was coming so I put in my will that if you go to foster care, your sister Jasmine should get custody of you. I knew she would do it because she has a heart like her mother... I'm watching you Jo, I'm proud of the man your becoming. Don't hold this hatred towards the world in your heart, it will turn you into the devil. Continue to go to church, all three of you, go to church together. Love your nephew Ja'Navi and be a great uncle. Don't give your siblings too much trouble. I love you son, Pops."

Josiah bent over in tears on my lap as Jayson wrapped his long arms around us. "I love you both."

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