Without them knowing

◎Chapter 23◎

SO SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN SO LONG. I Just have been so incredibly busy and everything, so yeah...

Elijah's face changed immediately. His eyes softened and he visibly calmed. With only enraged me further. 

We were going to fight goddammit and he was going to loose!

"Parker--" he started. 

"Shut up," I growled, glaring at him. "Just shut up, you don't get it. You still don't get it."

He opened his mouth to say something, but I interrupted him, again. 

"Elijah no," I said, breathing heavily from anger. "You don't get it. You kissed girls, in front of me, you had sex with them. With the mate band open. Elijah do you have any idea how that felt?"

Before he was able to reply, I continued. "You don't. Do you know why? Because I naively stayed faithful to you all this time. Hoping that someday, you would love me--"

"Parker," he said softly. "I'm sorry, and I do love you. I love you so much."

"I just don't know Elijah," I cried dropping my head in my hands as tears spilled down my face. "It's so confusing. I don't know if I should forgive you! You have hurt me so much! I just can't forget all of that!"

Elijah dropped down to his knees in front of me and pulled my hands from my face. "I don't expect you to forgive me Parker. I have done so many horrible things to you that I will regret for the rest of my life. Probably even longer. And if I could turn back time, I would. I would just accept you when I first realized we were mates. I would just have accepted you and announced it to the pack immediately."

"But you didn't," I said, locking my eyes with his. They were desperate and sad.

"No, I didn't, and you don't have an idea how much I regret that decision. But it happened, Parker. And all I'm asking for is a chance. To make it up to you."

"You don't need one, Elijah. I love you, I always have.But I just can't feel it anymore Elijah. I just can't forget the fact that you have slept with other girls. I just can't forget the hurt you put me through every time." 

Elijah crept on the bed right besides me and pulled me towards his chest. To exhausted from crying and yelling, I just let him. 

He put his lips next to my ear. "I'm so sorry, Parker. Please stop crying. I love you and I will make it up to you, I will. I promise. I will," he whispered softly, his voice cracking a bit.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. "You know Elijah," I started, my voice just loud enough so he could hear me. "I wanted to make you jealous today. I wanted to hurt you like you have hurt me all this time. But I couldn't, because you sleeping with someone else hurt so much. I couldn't put you through that. I would never sleep with someone else. The feeling is horrible."

Elijah squeezed me tighter to him. "They didn't mean anything to me Parker. I swear, I just--"

I shook my head quickly. "Please don't even try to explain. I can't take it. Just shut up."

I don't know why I was able to say shut up to Elijah so relaxed, maybe it was because I was getting tired, or maybe it was because I didn't really care anymore.

I heard Elijah sigh before he laid me down, he pulled of my shoes and then his. After he did that he laid back down next to me and pulled to covers over us. 

"Goodnight Parker," he whispered as he kissed my forehead. "I love you and I'm sorry."

I was glad I was too far gone to hear those last words, otherwise I would have told him to shut up again.

I woke up alone the next day, Elijah was nowhere to be found.  And from his faint scent, I knew he had been gone for an hour or so. 

Huh, talk about déjà-vu. But this time I didn't feel lonely waking up. And I was glad about that. 

Just as I was about to get out of bed, the door opened and Elijah appeared. 

"You're awake," he stated. Although his face was stoic. I could still see there was something wrong. 

"What is it?" I asked, not wanting to beat around the bush. 

My mate shook his head, not looking at me as he came closer to the bed. "Nothing. Are you hungry?"

I ignored his question and got out of bed. I stopped when I was just a few feet away from him. Crossing my arms over my chest I gave him a dry look. "No, I'm not. Now tell me what's wrong."

Elijah ignored my demand and tried to pull me in for a hug, but I side stepped him. Partly because I wanted to know what was bothering him and the other reason was because I still didn't know how to act around him. I still wasn't sure about my feelings for him. 

"No Elijah. Tell me what's wrong." I told him again, my voice a little more demanding. 

He smirked, trying to cage me into his arms again. "I kind of like it when you get demanding. It's a bit of a turn on."

My glare hardened. "Stop trying to change the subject. Something happened, tell me what."

Elijah sighed and walked over to the bed before sitting down on it. "Bonnie told everyone that you're my mate."

Immediately all color left my face. "W-what?" I stammered. Shakily I sat down next to my mate.

"My parents know, hell the whole pack knows."

"This is bad," I whispered string at the wall. 

They were going to kill me or make me go rogue. And Elijah, oh God, Elijah was going to loose his Alpha title. They were going to kick him out of the pack. His parents were going to hate him. The whole pack was going to look down on him. 

And all because of me. 

"This is so so bad," I whispered. I felt a strong pressure behind my eyes, but I willed myself not to cry. 

I wasn't afraid of what was going to happen to me. My fate had been sealed a long time ago. It was just a matter of time. No,  I was afraid of what was going to happen to Elijah, my mate. 

"Parker, hey, Parker." Elijah waved his hand in front of my face to get my attention. "Everything is going to be alright okay?"

I shook my head. "No, it's not. Elijah they hate me. Everyone hates me. They're going to k--"

"NO!" Elijah growled, his brown eyes were slightly darkened. "Nothing will happen to you, do you hear me? Nothing!"

I shook my head again while my eyes watered. "No, Elijah, you--"

His eyes softened a bit when he realized I was worried about him. He grabbed my hands and held them tightly. "I will be fine too, Parker. Please don't worry."

"How can I not worry?" I asked him. "I always knew no one could know about us. Because the pack would never accept us. And I never really thought about it, because I thought I would be dead before the pack found out about us! You have to say it's not true, Elijah. For your own good, tell them it's a lie."

"Are you insane?" Elijah asked incredulously, his eyes now completely black. "You are my mate, Parker. And no one is going to change that."

"Are you sure about that?"

Elijah turned around as fast as he could, shielding me from the person who was standing at his door. 

"Yes, Father. I'm sure. Parker is my mate. And if anyone has something against us, they will deal with me."

I heard the old alpha laugh. "You think you are stronger then me son? Stronger than the whole pack?"

"I know I am," Elijah growled confidently, while he was pushing me backwards, away from his father. 

"Let's see about that will we," Derek said. Then, he lunged while shifting.