forbidden - chris beck

Chapter 22

Beck's P.O.V.

What an absolute dull day here on Mars. Vogel, Watney and Lewis went outside to collect more samples for research purposes. Which meant the other four of us were stuck in the Hab.

I was running the data analysis on the computer for the samples we had already collected. It's not as fun as it sounds, and I'm guessing it sounds no fun at all.

I let out an exasperated sigh as I sat back in the chair, seeing that we still had over 3 hours of work left. But a small smirk appeared on my lips as I figured out a way to make time fly, as well as make it much more fun.

"Collins, can you please report down to the lab. I need assistance on the data analysis." I spoke through the earpiece with as much seriousness as I could muster.

I waited with my hands behind my head and leaned back in my chair. After a few moments or so, the sound of light footsteps approached the lab entrance.

"You needed help?" She said as she approached until she was standing next to my chair and looking down at my screen.

"No." I smiled up at her sheepishly.

She shook her head and sat on the desk next to the computer, her feet on the arm of my chair. "I should have figured." She smiled.

"I was helping Martinez with the course trajectory patterns." She said as she took a hold of my hand and placed it in between both of hers on her lap.

She started to play with my fingers, softly trailing her own against mine as she carefully examined each finger.

"Which I should probably get back to." She sighed. "There's so much to do before we leave. We're so behind on the soul sampling, we have all the numbers to run and we're constantly getting emails from NASA asking if we can fit in some extra research along with it all."

As she spoke, I couldn't help but admire her. Everything about her was so effortlessly beautiful. The way her brown locks fell around her face when she tied it up. The way her lips always looked so desirable, the way her caramel orbs focused on my hand and the way her soft skin felt against mine. She was so undeniably perfect that it made me the sappiest guy to ever live.

Seriously, she weakened all elements of my masculinity.

"You having fun?" I said with a smile, watching her concentrated features as she continued to examine my hand.

"It comforts me." Her eyes averted to meet my own.

Our almost perfect moment didn't last long. Now that come to think of it, they they never lasted long.

At the sound of footsteps approaching, she let go of my hand and placed it on the table, before immediately jumping off the desk to stand beside me again, pretending to look down at the computer screen.

"Hey, do you know where the spare hand shovels are?" Martinez asked as he walked into the lab. "They broke one out there."

"Yeah, there should be some on that table right there." I spun around in my chair and pointed to the table in the far corner.

"Ah." Martinez exclaimed as he spotted them. He grabbed one and made his way out again. "Thanks." He said as he walked out.

I looked up to see an incredibly nervous Ava. I hated the fact that we had to hide this, but I hated seeing her like this more.

Neither of us seemed to want to speak first. But she soon broke the silence.

She pursed her lips tightly and rubbed her hand along her forehead.

"I can't keep doing this."

I knew what she meant. The secrecy was a nightmare, especially when there was essentially no privacy here.

"I know but-"

"No, Beck." Her voice showed signs of distress. "I'm serious." She sighed. I could tell that it pained her to say these words.

"I hate the fact that I panic whenever I see Lewis or any of the crew members because I have to make sure that I'm not sitting too close to you, or that I'm not making eye contact with you, or that I'm not creating any suspicion."

I kept my gaze down the entire time, knowing that if I looked up,  I wouldn't allow her to say the words that were coming out of her mouth.

"It's better for us both." She continued. "I mean, both of our entire future careers are on the line here."

I nodded as she spoke. I couldn't deny that what she was saying was true. If we messed this up and Lewis found out, our careers as astronauts could be over. How could I live with myself knowing that I destroyed her chances of ever going up into space again.

"Maybe afterwards we can-" I cut her off before she could say more. I hated the idea of waiting, but I'd gladly do it for her.

"Maybe afterwards." I looked up at her with a solemn expression and gave her a nod.

Shortly after she told me that she would see me at dinner and she left with what was the saddest expression she's ever had on her face. I hated seeing her like that.

Leaving me with my thoughts, I assumed that I would break out in anger, or run after her. But instead I just sat there, gazing into mid air and wondering how long I would stay this way until she would consume me in her presence again.

If only she knew, that to me, she was the greatest girl in the galaxy.