The Explorer's Apprentice

9: Freedom

 I don't own Rose.

Marley Faulkner

Someone shakes her shoulder hard. “Marley!” Abby repeats for the third time. Marley looks up into several pairs of concerned eyes. “They called you.”

“You okay, kid?” The black-clad tech worker leans over Marley, staring at her like she has a seahorse attached to her head.

“You’ve been kinda out of it all week,” says Isabelle. “Are you sure you still wanna go on?”

Kid? “No! Yes! I mean, yes, I want to go on,” says Marley, grabbing her book bag. “I was just… distracted. I’m coming right now.”

Backstage smells like sweat and floor polish. A girl with bronze ringlets sits in a corner muttering tongue twisters to herself like a mantra. “Number 60!” shouts a raspy voice. The girl gives a little gasp and shuffles into the spotlight. From the dark backstage, it’s almost blinding.

Almost my turn. Marley sits down against the fly ropes, trying to get comfortable for the next few minutes. The paper where she’s printed her audition piece crinkles around the locket in her pocket.

A familiar laugh rings out, a little louder than intended, across the small space. Alison meets Danny as she exits the stage, buzzing with the excitement of the spotlight. She says something, and he laughs back, a deeper sound, and Marley can’t help but think of Cage. Does he laugh with Louise now? she wonders. Did he ever laugh with me? …How long, Louise… how long have you been together? Was it even before I moved away? I wouldn’t be surprised…

A tech worker walks past and tells them sternly that if they have already gone on, they should take a seat. Danny takes Alison’s hand and they dash together back into the sea of chairs. Marley hadn’t believed it at first when Abby told her they aren’t a couple. Maybe they would be, if either got up the courage.

I need to stop thinking about Cage and Louise. I need to focus on the audition. This is Florida. New days. New beginnings. Things happen. Iceberg-shaped things. Events that change lives. I could go for an iceberg right about now….

 April 6 – Cal and I had another argument.

It was early in the morning, and I'd gone for a walk. To clear my head, you know, and see a little bit of town before we were expected to leave. I'd even bought a map. Nothing fancy, just a big, old thing with all of the large cities and landscapes marked off, but God, how I loved it. I loved to look at it and imagine myself into the tall mountain ranges of northern Europe and the vast deserts of Africa. The old man who sold it to me even told me about the many places he'd been with his daughter, and we spoke for a good hour or so before he pointed out the map to me. He said, 'You're a natural born adventurer. I think this is what you need.'

And he was right. 

Cal didn't like me going out, though. He didn't like me talking to store keepers and the everyday city-folk that passed by, and he definitely didn't like the sound of me being 'a natural born adventurer.' He said something about my reckless behavior getting way out of hand--that I needed to get my head out of the clouds. That I should have stayed back at the house, with him, just the way he had wanted.

And then he burned the map.

The argument that followed was so loud that the neighbors stopped by. 

'Of course everything's fine,' Cal told them. My voice was too hoarse from the screaming to say anything. "Of course. No need to worry. Nothing was ever wrong here," he said.