Across the Years ( Camren )

Possibilities

Lauren's pov

There was a gap in the journal books that went from November of 1868 to March of 1869.

By May of 1869, the wedding preparations were in full swing. Camila had her dress fitted and picked her brides maids. They were her friends Bea, Dinah and Demi. Many of the journal entries went over the details of the wedding which Camila seemed to write with little enthusiasm.

As the wedding got closer and closer she made an effort not to mention her attraction to women. I think she's trying to push it out of her mind. She speaks of going to church a lot in those days. Her husband to be is mentioned frequently. But he is also reported to be in London, working at the Trading house frequently. Camila says he works late hours sometimes and thus has a small room near his work where he can sleep. That saves him from having to travel all the way back to Mahone manor when he is tired.

He's also joined one of those exclusive clubs that they talk about. Men sitting around smoking cigars, talking business, playing cards, that sort of thing. It's called the Hallcroft club and Austin also seems to spend a lot of time there as well.

Much to my dismay, Austin does have some effect on Camila. He always seems to go out of his way to be charming and gracious. He regularly gives her compliments and little gifts. She spoke of a tiny carved figurine he had brought back from China he had given her. I actually found a small carved figure of an elephant in the chest with Camila's stuff. It looks oriental and that must be the gift.

When he works his charms and fills her with his sweet talk, she becomes more receptive to marrying him. I find myself not liking him. Not simply because he's engaged to Camila, but I get the impression he's a phoney. "I bet he smells like Doritos too." I thought. The words, silver-tongued devil, come to mind. Camila though she doesn't love him, believes he truly is a great guy. She further believes she can grow to love him. So in that respect she is grateful she's marrying a handsome, adventurous, intelligent, charming and honest man. I think she's being a bit naive.

June 22nd, 1869.

Austin came calling today and took me for an early evenings walk through the park. The full moon was out and it was in fact very romantic. It had been the first I'd seen him in nearly a week. His work with the trading house taking up so much of his time. He told me that my beauty was even more enhanced by the glimmering light of the moon. He likes to say I'm pretty and how charming I am. It feels good to be complemented so often. It helps me know that I will come to love him and will be happy as his wife. I tell myself that I'm am just nervous and once that is past and settle into the role of wife, I will come to enjoy it. The way he looks at me, he does seem truly smitten.

He speaks of the wonderful parties we shall have and how I will meet all the upper crust of British society. He speaks of travels we shall make. He has a way with words. I find myself getting caught up in it. That give me hope.

In the weeks and days up to the wedding she kept telling herself that. That she would fall and they would live happily ever after. But I could read between the lines, as I knew her now. Deep down she was depressed and she felt trapped. The whole situation depressed the hell out of me.

In that time I realized the photo I have was of her in her wedding dress. It was taken a week before the wedding. Hence that vague look of sadness that I picked up on when I first saw it.

Camila was married to Austin Mahone on July 10th, 1869, in a ceremony that took place at a church near the Mahone estate.

July 10th, 1869.

Today I am Mrs. Mahone. (A/N that sounds disgusting I need to throw up brb) The marriage took place St. Andrew's Church which on the outer edge of Herford. It is a bigger and more opulent church than St. Michaels, which is my parish. Thankfully it was a bright and sunny day and all arrangements went off without a hitch. The party at the Mahone mansion afterward was a grand celebration. I even met a distant Cousin of Queen Victoria, plus several members of Parliament.