❝she was the girl, who bit the horizon, who peeled the stars from the sky and put them on her tongue, the girl who was hungry for the universe, who craved magic and saw the broken boy for who he truly was- a broken boy.❞
Beca...
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Chapter 51
When Rain Starts To Pour
Ellis
"Get home now," hissed Jem urgently, pushing me away from him. When he touched me, lightning traced up my arm. He was scrambling over to the opened windows to see who had ruined the moment. "You need to go-"
"No," I broke his train by adamantly refusing, shaking my head, stubborn. "I'm not going to leave you here."
"Go home-" There was a frantic panic in his eyes that extended beyond my understanding. Another crash erupted in the kitchens and it jolted me again, scaring me slightly. It sounded like somebody had accidentally broken something- maybe dropping a plate on the tiled floor or something. His dad must've come home drunk. Again. "-please."
"No, I'm staying with you- I'm- I'm-" I couldn't bring myself to articulate properly, my brain fizzing out. There was moonshine in the tears jamming my eyes shut. "I'm scared he might hurt you."
"Don't," he mumbled, "Please don't. If you respect my decisions, you would go now."
I didn't want to go but the fear flickering wild in his eyes coaxed me into saying yes. "Okay."
He pointed me over to the door and I squared my shoulders as I headed out the front entrance. Another clatter echoed through. I would give anything to suck back the words out and run back into his house- to help him with his Dad, to mend everything back and told him it was okay but I didn't. I listened to Jem this time and stayed out of his business, just like he wanted me to, just like he had requested.
It was still drizzling but it wasn't enough to wash the sin of letting Jem back in. I licked my lips, my mouth still wet from his, burning from the fact that I had betrayed everything I told myself not to do before coming here. I had rehearsed what I was going to say so many times in front of the mirror, to Calista and Astrid- practising how I would do it. How I would coolly hand him back the DVD and the picture as if they meant absolutely nothing to me when it still took everything in me not to cling onto it. I wanted to seemed like I moved on- like he had moved on with Effy but I was weak the second he opened the door and our stares matched. All my hard work- down the drain the minute he looked at me because his lips was a desperate, desolate consolation in a bleak and harrowing world.
I wished there was an undo button, stopping me from making that mistake of kissing back but I was doomed ever since he asked me to come inside his house. I should've said no, should've shaken my head and gone home so I would be in control of myself and my actions. But I didn't. I said yes because I couldn't resist. I couldn't resist the pressing curiosity that was Jem Leighton- the event, the beautiful boy that was a wild paradox of a juxtaposition of happy and sad, friendly and mysterious, brooding and easygoing. Nobody knew Jem. They thought he was just a funny, good-looking guy who partied like crazy and got all the girls with the depth of a shallow pool but he wasn't.
