Chapter XXXVII - Lucian's Redemption

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I waited for her answer. Outwardly, I supposed I appeared as self-possessed as ever, but inwardly I was discomposed and rattled.

"No, Lucian. Not beyond redemption," she assured me at last, her smile as radiant as a child's. It was all I could do to keep myself from falling prostrate at her feet. What a tame little pet you have become, I jeered at myself.

I had, since coming to care for the lass, metamorphosed into a malleable and adoring greyhound, taking whatever scraps she was willing to offer me. The thought both displeased and amused me. 

"In sooth," she continued, "I know it was not your will to keep... your family curse from me. I understand you completely now."

I disagreed entirely, but kept that to myself. She had only an inkling of what she was embroiled in. She placed her hands on either side of my neck as she seemed to plumb the very depth of my eyes.

"I love you," she said again. It affected me now as much as the first time she had uttered it — wholly and completely.

What a drastic turn of events! I could scarce believe her change of heart, although she was now perhaps mercurial due to her fecund state, but whatever the reason, I had resisted my impulses long enough! Her declaration inflamed me — it was a balm and yet also incited me instantly to passionate fervor — so utterly that I practically lunged at her and brought my lips savagely down onto hers.

When I released her, a few moments later, I noticed at once how ragged her breathing had become and nearly smiled, but my response to her was perhaps twofold as powerful as the effect I wreaked over her body.

"How long have you known that it was I that defended you in Niflheim?" I asked in amazement, addressing her earlier statement. She had been saturated with my pheromones when I had awakened beside her in the subterranean atrium of what we affectionately called, The Underworld — our killing tunnels. 'Twas both mine and Fendrel's scent that had clung adamantly to her skin.

"I think I have always known," she said with a faraway look, "from the moment I awakened to see your face covered in blood."

By some miracle, my alter self — that part of me that was beyond reason — had recognized its mate, and protected her throughout the long hours ere the moon released me from my delirium. Mayhap Aria had sensed my presence beside her on some atavistic level? Could she have somehow, in that most primal of planes, recognized me? As if reading my thoughts, she smiled.

"I have known it here," she confirmed as she lifted my hand, still pressed against her abdomen, and held it to her racing heart.

"Well, you have it aright," I confirmed at last, withal it was a redundant statement. "It was me that guarded you in that great chamber whilst you lay bleeding." 

I had no memory of it, just an impression like a shadow moving in a fog. I knew that it was I that stayed close and precluded further attack from my kin. It was I that awoke curled protectively around her. The recollection of stirring to life beside her and then becoming dreadfully aware of her bleeding, broken form... I shuddered as I thought about how close I had come to losing her.

It was then that I had realized how deeply I had come to care for her. But love? That was neither terrifying nor liberating, but certainly a powerful combination of both. Did I love her? Could I trust her not to defect from me again.

"You cleaned my wound after you fought the ghost off," she recalled, unaware of my inner turmoil.

"Fendrel," I pronounced. "I do not know how that is possible?"

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