Harmless Things (Jean Hobbs AU)

Part twenty-four

Jack P.O.V. 

"Dean?" Only getting light snores in response, I curled up into him further. With his back against my front and my arm around his waist, I found his hand and entwined our fingers, wanting to get as close to him as possible. 

It was just beginning to get dark and I couldn't get enough of him. Until today, it had been too long since our skin touched, but even after hours of clinging onto him as if he would slip away if I didn't, I still ached for more, and I could've sworn I fell in love with him all over again every time I heard him speak or when he smiled at me. 

"Jack?" Dean mumbled, his sleepily croaky voice making me chuckle. 

"Wake up sleepy head, it's not even 10pm yet." 

"Mmph," he turned around, his eyes still closed, burying his face in my chest and slinging an arm around me. 

"Don't go back to sleep!" I whined. "I get bored on my own!" 

"Talk to me then and keep me awake," he groaned.

"Okay," I inhaled, catching a scent of a clean apple fragrance coming from his hair. "You use a different shampoo?" I asked. "Last time I saw you it was mint." 

"That's a really creepy thing to say Jack," he laughed. 

"If we're in a relationship I'm allowed to notice the little things!" 

"It's still creepy though," his voice dropping back into the croakiness. 

"The let me be creepy. How are you, anyway? You never really said." 

"Fine." 

"Besides that?" 

"I'm okay now that I have you back."

"But?"

"I'm fine." 

"You can talk to me, you know? That's what I'm here for. You don't need to be ashamed of how you feel, you're allowed to have emotions too," he nodded. "So, how have you been?"

"Awful."

"Scarlett?" He nodded and pulled me closer, and I knew he was trying his best not to cry. "How is she?" 

"She's dying. And I can't save her. No one can," his voice cracked and I sat up and pulled him with me, holding him close to me. "I've failed. I've failed as a brother," he said through sobs. "I can't protect her anymore." 

"It's not your fault, you couldn't have prevented it." 

"But I could've-" 

"No, don't you remember when you told me you couldn't have prevented it? Stop trying to blame yourself, it's not anyone's fault."

"I know, but... It's just... It doesn't make any sense to me," he breathed in shakily. "I... I don't know what I'm going to do. When it happens, I mean. I don't know how I'm going to... When she..." He burst into tears again and I rubbed his back soothingly. 

"You'll need to be strong for your family, you know that, right? But you'll have me to lean on, I'm going to be right here to help you, I'm not going anywhere," he sighed and gripped onto me tighter. 

"I'm s-so scared, J-Jack, sometimes I can't stop thinking about i-it. What am I going to do?"

"We don't need to worry about that right now. You have me and your family have you, we're all here to support each other. It's all going to be okay in the end, Dean." 

"H-how?" 

"Well when she... she'll be in a better place, she won't have to suffer anymore. You're going to hurt for a while but you'll pick yourself back up, and you'll learn to smile again. She'll always be with you in spirit, looking out for you, even if she's not here."