unsteady // g.d. // completed

twenty eight.

"What are you working on?"
"Fuck off," I push the curly haired bloke away, annoyed at his attempt that wasn't the first to peer at the lyrics I was jotting down.
"You've been fucking rude lately. Gia not hitting it right?"
I glare at Matty as he chuckles, annoyed, then at Ross who stifles a laugh.
"Guess that's a no."
"In all seriousness, you can't just keep avoiding her," Ross chimes in.
"I'm not avoiding her. She works, I work, we just see each other less," I sigh, forcefully closing my journal. They've made me lose all motivation to write.
"Or you snogged your ex and you've caught feelings for her again," Matty raises an eyebrow, plopping down on the leather sofa next to Ross.
"What the hell did I miss?" Adam looks up from his guitar that's rests in his lap while he's sat in a rolling chair next to the desk I was behind.
"That, and because Gia said she loved you?"
"Okay, what did I miss?" Matty whips his head to look at Ross.
"I'm so lost," Adam grumbles.
"Fuck sake, shut up," I groan.
"What the hell happened?" Matty looks over to Ross.
"If you're going to tell my life story for me, then I'm gonna grab something to drink," I interrupt Ross before he even begins to explain, walking to Matty's kitchen only realizing I have to choose from hard liquor or wine. I settle on wine, browsing the cabinets for a wine glass. If I was being honest, maybe I was avoiding Gia. Just a little. She doesn't remember telling me she loved me, and if she did, she never mentioned it. Or maybe we just don't ever get to talk because I purposefully hide out at Matty's, "writing" for our new album until the early late hours. Either way, I was feeling guilty. I feel all eyes on my when I walk back in with a glass of wine now in hand.
"Hey, that's my favorite wine," Matty breaks the silence while I shrug before taking a sip.
"G, look at you. You don't even like wine," Ross speaks up.
"Don't worry about me," I walk back over the the desk where I was previously writing.
"He's losing it."
"He's fucking ridiculous," Adam adds to Matty's previous remark.
"Woah, hostility," Matty chuckles.
"Gia doesn't deserve this and he knows it."
I look over to Adam who's now standing, holding a guitar case in hand. He briefly says goodbye before walking out the flat.
"Is there a love triangle I'm unaware of?"
"No, you idiot," Ross snaps at Matty.
I'd hate to admit it but Adam was right. He's always been there to defend Gia, which I took as a good thing. It helped me snap out of phases like these.
"He's like her older brother," I sigh, "He comforts her when I can't. I'm such shit."
"Well," Matty begins, but clears his throat when I look at him.
"I think it would be best if you just told her. You wouldn't feel so guilty after."
"Ross, are you serious."
"Maybe I should," I stand, reaching for my phone in my pocket.
"What? No," Matty snorts, "Let her find out herself."
"You're such an asshole," Ross rolls his eyes.
"What he said," I reply dryly before I grab my coat and walk out the door.
After spending a few minutes in the parking lot of the shopping center, I decide to quit being a bitch and go in and find her. Ross told me she was shopping with Liz, and I instantly drove over. As I walk into the store they were most likely in, I ponder if this was even the right time or place to tell her. A few minutes after pacing between racks of clothes I bump into someone familiar which signaled I was closer to her.
"Hey George," Liz grins, and my heart starts beating faster at the thought of having to face Gia.
"Hey, where's Gia?"
"Over there by the dressing rooms. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, thanks," I brush her off, immediately heading in the direction I was pointed to. I try not to think about how she will react but more so about my apology. It's not until I find her, I stop dead in my tracks. Not only because I'm scared but there's another presence she's now hugging and I consider taking this time to run off.
"Van, I haven't seen you since the party," she laughs while embracing him. It's when I start to feel my face get hot and my hands shake that I clear my throat, "What about me?"
"G, what are you doing here?" Gia beams now.
"Finished a little early today, so I wanted to see you."
I note how Van laughs humorlessly from a distance as I grit my teeth in his direction while Gia holds onto me tighter than she did with him.
"I guess I should get going," Van raises an eyebrow, "It was good to see you Gia, don't forget to text me."
"Of course," she smiles, politely waving at him before he strides off, completely oblivious to the competition.
"Want to grab something to eat?"
"Yes, but I have to check out first, and you can't look!" Gia stands on her tippy toes to try to shield my eyes as I look in the direction of her trolley. In all honesty I had forgotten Christmas was soon, me and the guys had been too focused on working on our first full length album lately.
"Right, sorry, I'll meet you outside," I chuckle softly before kissing her forehead and retreating back to the front of the store.
I go through about two cigs before Gia appears empty handed, explaining Liz was taking care of her purchases so I wouldn't see.
"You're dedicated."
"I like surprises, G," she smiles.
After we finish lunch and we decide on heading back to my flat, it's silent, mostly because I'm contemplating if I should tell her now.
"George, are you okay?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"You just seem to be in your own world lately," she frowns.
"Well, it's just-"
I don't have time to finish as I feel the car start to slide over the ice, and I quickly try to recover as Gia gasps. My hearts beating faster as my car swerves then finally comes to a rest. We both look at each other breathless.
"Fuck," she mumbles.
"I'm sorry, Gia," I sigh, resting my head on the steering wheel.
"It's not your fault."
"But it is goddamnit! It is!" I bang my hand on the dashboard repeatedly until I come to my senses and Gia stares, stunned.
"George-"
"Just stop," I whimper, accelerating the car a bit and continuing down the road. It's silent the whole way home.