resurface

10

The truth is Ivy could have found Jamie's house by the thumping techno music if she'd just stayed home. As we walked up the driveway, the pavement vibrated under my feet.

One of Jamie's hanger on friends, one who got an invite but had to run around and do all the grunt work, opened the door for us when we arrived. She only had time to say "Hi Grady!" before Ivy pushed past her, letting herself into the party.

"Good evening Ally, it's so nice to see you. I brought some friends," he said, his smile making her blush. Then he looked at me, "After you."

I stepped into the doorway and tried to follow the direction Ivy had gone. Grady laid his hand lightly on my elbow as he came in behind me. I felt the warmth of his skin through the sleeve of the jacket.

"This way," he said, gently pulling to the left.

I moved with him and let him guide me, even though I knew I should pull away. He was just being nice, but I didn't want to make this a habit. I didn't want him to be so friendly. I didn't want to like him.

People were everywhere. College students who had taken their last exam and come to Seaside for the summer to work long hours, drink alcohol, soak in the sunlight and make enough money to go back to school with something to show for it. Prep school students whose parents owned an estate here and others who had tagged along before the rest of their summer plans began. I didn't recognize everyone. There were plenty of weekend warriors who had come here because the train ride was shorter and the hotel was less expensive than going to the Hamptons. Or because they wanted a glimpse of Ivy.

Like I had made her appear, she came up beside me, a red cup in her hand, dancing to the techno. She hip bumped me a few times before stopping abruptly. "So this music sort of blows. Someone should tell Jamie Whatsherface that if she wants to have a rave she needs a strobe light, glowsticks, and ecstasy."

"We can go somewhere else," I said. Even Luke's would be better than this.

"Are you kidding, they need us," Ivy said. She looked at Grady. "I know you just got beat up but where are your man skills. Go get Emma a beer."

He saluted her with a smile and disappeared into a throng of people.

"Okay, you must tell me everything," she said taking my arm.

"About—"

"Grady. Are you two together?"

"What? No." Even to me I sounded a little too forceful. Like I was trying to hard. "I'm actually not his biggest fan."

Ivy lifted one arched eyebrow. It looked so strange on her face; it was a look I'd never pictured on her, and I had to envy it, since never in a million years would I get my face to do that.

I shrugged. "It's a long story." It wasn't like I could tell her I didn't like him because he was too happy.

"Okay, don't tell me," she said giving my shoulder a shove. "He's freaking adorable and he's obviously into you but whatevs."

I shook my head. "He's like this with everyone."

Again she arched her eyebrow.

"The whole nice thing," I said. "The smiling and all of it. It's not just me."

The song changed and Ivy groaned. "I'll be back," she said squeezing my arm. "Someone seriously needs to high jack this playlist."

I didn't have a chance to respond before she was gone.

I stood there with the pathetic aimlessness I had long ago mastered, encircled by people dancing and grinding with an abandon I couldn't imagine let alone replicate. Ivy had returned to Seaside with a confidence and self-possession I wished I could find in myself. Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised. Maybe she had always had that in her, even when we'd been kids. I wondered if it was just her personality. If this was who she would have grown into had she been in Seaside with me the whole time or if this was who she had become because she left and because she'd been somewhere else and on her own. Whatever the secret, I wanted it.