shawn mendes imagines

i want you to love me

My cold knuckles tapped against the cold window of Shawn's room, using my other hand to tighten my coat around my freezing body. Shawn approached the window wearing sweats and a black long sleeve, allowing the warm air of his room to wrap around me once he opened the window.

He turned his body to let me in, taking a second to hold my hand and help me squeeze through. The feeling made my heart rush, but it was quick to disappear when he let go. He gave me a slight smile, sliding the window shut before speaking, "You could have went through the front door."

I laughed quietly, sliding off my boots and throwing it next to his rolling chair. "What fun would that be?" I muttered, slipping off my beanie to pat off the snow.

He chuckled along, using his manners to take off my coat before setting it on to his wooden desk. "What crazy thing do you want to do, today?"

I shrugged, digging myself in to his freshly-washed covers, pulling him on to the opposite side of the bed. "I just want to talk."

Shawn grinned, copying my actions as he let the covers reach his shoulders. He continued to stare at me. "About what?"

"Well," I mumbled, making myself comfortable within his bed. "What are you doing today?"

He chuckled again, his minty breath filling the small area between us. "Just going to hang out with Camila."

"Again?"

"Yeah? I mean, she is my girlfriend after all."

I shifted uncomfortably, sitting up to avoid eye contact with him. I peeled the covers away from my legs, slipping out of the bed as I obtained my belongings scattered around his room.

"_____? What's up?"

"Do you love her?" I blurted out, back facing him as I looked down, resisting the feeling of tears behind my eyes.

I heard the covers move. "What-"

"Do you love Camila, Shawn?" I said loudly without control. I didn't mean for my voice to raise.

"Yeah, _____, I do."

I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, beginning to grab my boots to put them on. I quickly wiped away a tear with the sleeve of my sweatshirt--his sweatshirt--and zipped up the boots, layering the coat on top of my clothes.

"_____, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Shawn," I mumbled again. "I shouldn't have came here."

"What the hell, _____? What did I do?"

"Nothing, Shawn! Just let me leave!"

He grabbed my wrist softly, but I flinched at the sudden contact. "I am not going to let you leave, _____. Every single time Camila comes up topic, you flee! What do you want from me? Do you want me to stop talking about her? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Or are you just jealous."

I shook my head, clenching my beanie and stuffing it in to the pocket of my black coat. "I don't want to talk about it." I said, pushing past him and down the stairs toward the front door.

"_____, I'm not letting you leave." He told me, placing a stern hand against the door. "What do you want from me?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes! Of course I do. You're my best friend!"

"I want you to love me!" I yelled, running my hands through my hair with a frustrated groan. I stuck a finger against his chest with tears in my eyes. "I want you to love me, Shawn, in the way I love you! I want to be the one you enjoy seeing everyday. I want to be the one you sleep next to. I want to be the one who makes you feel loved! I want to be yours, Shawn..." I took a deep breath, wiping my eyes.

Shawn didn't say anything. He stood motionless against his wooden door, looking at me--heartbroken and fragile, ready to break any second now.

I looked down at the floor and then straight in his eyes. "I want you to love me, Shawn."

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sas