The Other Gilbert (Rewriting)

Chapter 35: Memories of the Dead

Death is something you can never run from, even the strongest will fall into death's will. It is the matter of accepting your fate or ignoring it, either way, death will always be lurking in the corner, waiting to take your soul.

"No, no, no. Clarissa!" Elena screamed, looking down at her sister. Blood stained the wall, the floor and her body. She's dying, and it's all Elena's fault.

When you die, it fells bland, there's no pain. Now as I'm about to die, I feel only one thing, regret. I don't feel the metal sticking in my chest, I don't feel the blood squirting out. I feel regret. I remember all the happy memories, forgetting the bad. But still, I regret all the things I did not do, I could have done so much. I regret not finding out about my true heritage sooner, I regret not spending more time with Klaus, I regret not being able to give my baby life. I will die, and I don't think I have the power in me to fight. I've died once, soon twice. It feels like death follows me everywhere, it's time for my reaping, and I don't know if I'll be saved.

"I, I don't know what to do. Stefan, what do I do?" Elena asked holding her dying sister.
"Call, Bonnie." Stefan's weak voice said, he then ripped out the piece of wood sticking from his abdomen.
"Oh god, the baby." Elena cried.

I was once told that you must live life to the fullest, take risk, find love, be happy. Because you will never know when your life will be taken from you. I've lost a lot of people, I've witness death. But I've never experienced something like this. The first time I died, it was quick. But now, it's slow, giving me time to reflect on my life. I'm in a state of limbo, going from one memory to the next, always trying to avoid the bad ones. But it's inevitable, because forgetting the bad, will be forgetting what made me, me. All the bad memories have thought me something. No, I don't want to relive them, but I don't want to forget, because it is those memories that made who I am today.

"Bonnie, please, I need you, come to my house, quick. It's Clary, she's dying." Elena cried as she talked to Bonnie.

I've always wondered what it would feel like to die slowly. It's horrible, I could make out a few words being said, Elena calling for help. I can remember what I did today, what I did yesterday. I remember the vague conversation I had with my mom, it's ironic how I have double the power I had yesterday, but somehow I can't save myself. All that power lost to the world, it's a pity. I won't be able to see my father or my mother, the two legendary lovers, broken by a woman who seduced my dad. I won't be able to find out which features I got from who. Did I get my hair from my mother or my father, and what of my hair? Will my baby girl grow up to look like me or Klaus. I'll never know because I'm dying a slow painful death.

"Elena!" Bonnie yelled as she entered the Gilbert house, Damon and Jeremy behind her.
"Clarissa!" Jeremy yelled, pricks of tears left his eyes when he saw his dying sister.
"What happened?" Bonnie asked
"I was hallucinating, I thought she was Conner." Elena cried.
"You did this!" Jeremy yelled, glaring at Elena.

I'm out of my body now, this could only mean one thing, I'm near the end, I'm finally about to die. I can see and hear what is happening. Jeremy glaring at Elena. Damon helping Stefan up. Bonnie chanting spells, but non worked. And then there's me, dying, blood all over my chest, spreading towards my abdomen and the floor, a few went on the wall when Elena stabbed me. All that is happening, but the only thing my attention is at is on my baby bump. I've failed to give her a life she deserve. I failed her, my baby girl.

"No!" Klaus yelled as he looked into the living room of the Gilbert house from the door. He felt the pain, he felt something was wrong, and after running around town trying to find Clary, he finally did. Only it was not what he wanted, his love, his mate was dying.
"Give her to me!" He screamed. Knowing that she cannot be saved Bonnie nodded her head and Damon carried her to him. Klaus didn't care if they all saw his humanity, his one true love was dying and if he wanted to cry he will. Klaus clutched her weak body, inhaling her sweet scent. Trying to remember every detail of her face, he can't live with himself if he forgets.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for what I did." Klaus mumbled, his tears dropping on Clary's face.

I forgive you, I thought. As I watched Klaus cry. I forgive him. I never experienced love, when I met klaus he gave me that experience, he showed me. The evil original hybrid everyone feared taught me love. And I'm grateful I experienced that before my downfall. I'm grateful I meet such wonderful people, and I'm grateful I learned the truth. However I still regret not finding out more. Most of all I regret not giving my baby life. For that will be my greatest loss, not giving her life will always be my greatest regret.

"Save her!" Klaus yelled.
"I can't, I've tried. My magic isn't strong, I lost most of it already. The magic I'm currently practicing, it doesn't allow me to do this. I'm sorry." Bonnie whispered, she's feels useless, but she's still shocked, it's the first time any of them saw Klaus's humanity, he truly cared about Clary. And it pained Bonnie to watch as her friend die.

It's time. I'm going to die now, and I'm right, no one can save me. No one.

"No, what is this?" Klaus yelled as a blinding white light appeared. When it disappeared so did Clarissa's body.
"No!" He yelled.

This won't be the end, I'm tired of fighting to live, but I will never stop fighting to give my child a life.