STAR BLOSSOM | JUNGKOOK [HIATUS]

「005」

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SPINE BREAKER

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Classes ended for the day and all the students headed for their dorms. I take out my key card and unlock the door to my dorm. What a great day~ A sigh escapes my mouth as I realize that another day has passed ever since the fall of my family. Is it right to feel happiness? Should I even be living through another day with no feeling of guilt?

I take off my glasses and go to the washroom to wash my face. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I was only a sixteen year old girl with dreams and mindsets. My eyes still showed signs of life, but it also showed fear. I felt fear no matter where I went, it was always following me. But what am I so afraid about? Is it something I should know or is it something that I shouldn't? My fear might just be an instinct that's warning me of something in the future. But what could it be?

I put on my glasses again. Good thing these lenses hide away my fear. I go upstairs and jump onto my bed. My eyes were glued to the window. I stared outside the window as I waited for night to fall, so I could see the stars again. I turned to my right and saw my family's bucket list on the bedside table. I grab it and headed outside to read it. There was a large tree that blocked the sunlight to the ground underneath it. I decide to sit right against the tree. Hopefully I won't be a spine breaker to my own back.

I open the bucket list to read what was in it. I decided to read what I had wrote down into the bucket list. I kept on reading until I read what was on the last page; 'Watch the sunset as a family'. I close the book and watch the sun set just beyond the school. A tear fell from my eyes. At least I know my family is watching from above. I quickly check the time on my phone, it's getting late, I can't miss the curfew. I brush off the grass and dust from my legs and dash towards my dorm.

J U N G K O O K

Can't believe there was math class today. I throw myself face first onto my bed, I'm so tired. I raise my head a little and notice a familiar figure outside the window. Is that Yoonbyul under that tree? I wonder what she's doing out there.

I go take a shower before Yoonbyul returns back to the dorm. Come to think of it, Yoonbyul's a girl, yet she does not know who I am? I expected her to be like the rest of the girls at this school, always screaming whenever they saw me. Sometimes I don't like fangirls very much, even though I know they don't mean to act that way. I know it's their way of expressing themselves as a fan, but why doesn't Yoonbyul do that? I even told even had to tell her my name when I first entered this dorm. She only stared at me with wide eyes, as if she was meeting me for the first time. Yoonbyul's probably not a fan.

I change into my change of clothes and step out of the bathroom to see Yoonbyul returning to the dorm. She was holding a suspicious looking book. I wonder what it  is. Yoonbyul was holding the book really tightly as if her life depends on it. I approach her to ask her about it. Curiosity is really killing me right now.

"What are you holding Yoonbyul?"

Yoonbyul looked startled, she was definitely not expecting that question.

"Oh. Just a book."

"What book is it?"

"It's a bit private, I prefer not to talk about it."

"Oh, okay. It's about your life, if you were me, I wouldn't say anything too."

Yoonbyul runs up to her bed area and I return to my bed. Since Yoonbyul said that the book she was holding was private, could it be her diary? Nah, a diary at her age, she's sixteen like me, I wouldn't own a diary.

Y O O N B Y U L

I wake up to see another bright day. I quickly get ready and check my timetable again. I have physical education later in the day, I'll go put my running shoes and sweatpants into my bag.

After the academic classes were over, it was physical education. I've never liked physical education in my life probably because of my heart condition. Once I do very active things for a long time, my heart begins to hurt. That's why I take extra precautions when I'm doing sports. I used to not be able to run at all, but now I can run short distances which is a huge accomplishment to me. I know students are going to judge me for not being athletic, but what am I suppose to do about it? I don't need to tell them my current situation.

I enter the girls change room to see all of the wealthy girls of the school. They all had their branded jackets and shoes on. I looked at myself and thought what I could be compared to them. They were upper class, but deep down inside I knew that they didn't work for their clothing themselves. With shoes worth a couple hundred, padded jacket worth a couple thousand, these rich kids disgust me. All these kids are probably their parent's spine breakers, they've probably begged for them, unless their parents just spoil them.

I know all of these students at this school will look at me with judging eyes. They'll probably be like, what's going on? Are you falling behind on the trend? I don't have to worry about following trends, that's the least of my worries right now. Those who have and those who haven't, those who wear the shoes and those who don't, those who have clothes and those who don't, and those who try hard to get those things, I'm just one of those people who don't have anything. These wealthy people should be grateful that their parent's are supporting them, but it's saddening that they're using their parent's to get what they want. I would never do that because I do what I gotta do, I don't break my parent's spines. *sigh* Maybe I'm crossing the line for butting in other people's lives, I'll just stop judging these kids since they're going to start judging me.

Physical education is starting now. I change into my sweatpants and t-shirt. Now let's wait and see those judge filled faces of these other students.