Breathe

eleven

[ cole's pov ]

I've never known what it's like to be ignored. I snap my finger and people listen. I tilt my head and people look. I demand. They give.

But today is different.

I don't feel invisible exactly. It's worse than that. It's like people know I'm there, but they turn away from me. They think I'm below them.

"Hey, Janet, how was the party?" I send a shimmering smile towards a group of girls only to get rejected.

Janet smirks and then flips her head in the opposite direction.

Just last week she was swooning over me.

People chatter all around, and it isn't surprising that I hear some things about myself.

I don't know what anyone ever saw in him.

What a loser.

Outcast.

The words ram through my body like a knife. Or maybe something sharper and bigger.

I spot Tiffany not too far away. She wouldn't ignore me.

"Hey Tiff. What's going on?" I start to reach out to touch her when a hand slaps mine away.

Sierra.

"First of all, her name is Tiffany. And what's going on here is you."

Her eyes sparkle at my confusion.

"You made a fool of yourself. Plus, you're just not cool if you're not friends with us, and guess what?" She leans forward. "You're not cool."

She whispers the words, and it feels like poison to me.

Sierra has always looked for ways to get rid of me. She's finally had her chance.

I look at Tiffany, hoping she'll tell me that everything's all right. I need her to tell me it'll be okay.

She doesn't.

Neither of them say bye before walking away.

"Cole." I turn to see her. "Are you alright?"

Out of all of the people in this school, she is the last person I would expect to talk to me today.

"You just kind of left last night and the whole school is..."

She's too kind to tell me how they're ignoring me, or shunning me, or whatever this is.

She's too kind, but I deserve nothing but hate.

I left her. Twice.

"I'm sorry about that, Nora. It was just getting late and I was worried my mom would get mad."

That's not the truth, though. After staying in my room all weekend, my mother would be pleased to find me out at night. Except if I was with Nora, of course.

But the real reason I left is still unknown to me. I guess I just felt something for her I didn't want to feel. Or maybe my feet were killing me and I just needed a break. Either way, it's easier to blame things on my mom.

"I understand."

Sometimes I wish she would go away. She can't fit in my life.