My Fear, My Silence

Chapter Twenty Seven: Secrets, Secrets are no Fun

I had to say goodbye to Nelly. She couldn't keep up with the cars. I gave her a kiss before she ran off into the forest. I climbed on to Daddy's motorcycle and Carol got on the back. I was really happy I found them. I was gonna show Daddy what I got later. We rode in silence. I started to get cold and leaned into Daddy's chest as much as possible for warmth. Then a horn went off and we had to pull to the side. Daddy put me down and we walked to Rick.

"You out?" Daddy asked.

"Running on fumes." Rick said.

"We can't stay here." Someone said, it was too dark to see everyone.

"We can't all fit in one car." Glenn pointed out.

"We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning."Rick said.

"Spend the night here?" Lori asked.

"I'm freezing." Carl said and started to rub his arms. I was cold too.

"We'll build a fire, yeah? You go out looking for firewood, stay close." Rick ordered.

"Only got so many arrows. How you doing on ammo?" Daddy asked.

"Not enough." Rick muttered.

"We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out." Maggie said.

"Watch your mouth. Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick." Hershel said and we all looked at Rick. I stopped listening and looked at the area with brick walls. I started picking up sticks to make a fire. I saw Daddy do it once. I got a mini pile going and I walked over to Rick and pulled on his shirt.

"What Mason?" He asked annoyed. I pointed to my pile. He walked over and smiled. "Good Job Mason." He faced everyone. "Let's get to work."

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We were all huddled around a fire. I was leaning against Daddy, who was sitting next to Carol. It was cold so Daddy gave me his jacket to use as a big warm blanket. It was really big. People were talking then Daddy spoke up.

"You know I found Randall, right? He had turned, but he wasn't bit." Daddy told everyone while rubbing my back. I didn't cry, there was no point in crying anymore.

"How's that possible?" Lori gasped.

"Rick, what the hell happened? Glenn asked.

"Shane killed Randall. Just like he always wanted to. And then the herd got him." Daddy said.

 "We're all infected." Rick said making everyone freeze.

"What?"

"At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it." Rick said. I wasn't sure what was going on.

"And you never said anything?" Glenn asked with Anger.

"Would it have made a difference?" Rick said.

"You knew this whole time?"

"How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that mo... "

"That is not your call. Okay, when I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone." Glenn growled. I never seen him angry like this.

"Well, I thought it best that people didn't know." Rick snapped.

"I'm sure you had your reasons." Hershel said.

"Is there anything that..." Lori began but Rick cut her off.

"I killed him. I killed Shane." We all gasped and looked shocked." He came at me. He killed Randall to get me into the woods. He planned it. I had... I had no choice. I gave him every chance... And he kept leading me further out. He pushed me, and I let him. And after awhile, I knew... I knew what he was doing, what he was up to. And I kept going. I didn't stop. I could have, but... I just wanted it over. Dogging me every step of the way. Acting like I stole you and Carl, like... Like I was in the way. I just wanted it over. I wanted him dead. I killed him. He turned. That's how I knew Jenner... Jenner was right. Carl put him down." Carl began to cry and Lori comforted him while staring At Rick. He was pacing.

"We're not safe with him... Keeping something like that from us." Carol whispered to Daddy. "Why do you need him? He's just gonna pull you down."

"No. Rick's done all right by me." Daddy protested.

"You're his henchman and I'm a burden. You deserve better." Carol scoffed.

"What do you want?"Daddy snapped.

"A man of honor."

"Rick has honor." Daddy said, making her quiet. Then a twig snapped, making everyone jump.

"What was that?" Beth said with panic.

"Could be anything. Could be a raccoon, could be a possum." T-Dog said.

"Walker." Daddy mumbled.

"We need to leave. I mean what are we waiting for?" Glenn said.

"Which way?" Maggie asked.

"It came from over there. Back from where we came."

 "The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark. We don't have the vehicles. No one's traveling on foot. Don't panic." Rick said, trying to be calm.

"I'm not... I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through." Maggie said.

"We need to move, now." Glenn growled.

"No one is going anywhere." Rick said.

"Do something." Carol hissed.

"I am doing something! I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!" He shouted making us all really quiet. "You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice. He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean. Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe... maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe... maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you... Why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get."

No one moved.

"No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight... you're staying. This isn't a democracy anymore."

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The rest of this book will be the journey to the prison through the winter. To see what happens from the prison and forward, read my book Second Chances.  

It is Mikayla's point of View, the girl that is close with Daryl. I strongly suggest reading it.

Thank you all and I hope you enjoy.

-Charlie