The Wrong Side of Right

{194}

"This intense love is frightening, because every day, I fear that one more thing will push him over the edge. That one more time of me rolling over in bed, teary-eyed, for no reason, could push him away. I know it upsets him, and I reassure him through my salty, blurred vision that it's not his fault. I am often overcome with guilt and I hate that my feelings about myself cause any pain on his part. Sometimes he is not easily convinced, but I try as hard as I can with the little energy I have. Some of our nights end in a tight hug and an "I'm sorry" mumbled from my lips, but I'm just thankful that he is still happy to wake up to me every morning.

Every day is a struggle. I am constantly on edge, going back and forth between caring too much and not caring at all, wondering when he will have enough. He is quick to remind me how much he loves me, but I am just as quick to be overcome with crippling doubt. We both know that this is how forever will be, and if he hasn't given up yet, I'm certain that he is 100% all in. Never let anyone tell you that you are not worth being loved if you don't love yourself. Never let anyone tell you that your mental illness is the reason why you are not in a relationship. Never let anyone tell you that you should smile more, fix your hair, or wear more color. Never let anyone makes you feel bad about what you can't always control. 

Someone will be in love with you regardless of your most comfortable state, and if that happens to be curled up on the floor of your room, crying as you listen to your favorite sad songs, then you have found true love." 

- Holly Everett

*   *   *   *  *

AN: Hello lovelies! 😊 Today is September 11! That means, two years ago today, I made the best decision of my life. Two years ago today, I joined wattpad 😍🎉 I've read loads of good books, and I've met a lot of lovely people. Thank you so much lovelies for everything. I really want to thank you all personally but for now, just read this note 😂💗

I'm also sorry because I haven't posted any updates in such a long time. Blame school. I'm really busy in school that's why I rarely update. I miss you lovelies! And because I'm really busy, unfortunately, I forgot that last August 13, this book is already 1 year here in wattpad!

Anyways, this book is 1 year old already and my wattpad acc is created 2 years ago.

Kindly read the note at chapter 193 if you want a chapter dedicated to you 😊

For my Six Word Story readers, I still accept six word story entry/entries. Just don't expect for any updates at the moment because school has no chill 😭

Ily all! Take care, God bless! xx 😘

--E (Aestrophilia) ♡

*p.s I'm really sleepy rn. Sorry for any typos and errors in this note. I'm really sleepy 😴