70 Deadly Wattpad Sins (The Book Of Evil Advice!)

Sin #10: Mary Sue (Mary Who?)

  Everyone knows her. That one girl in your class, who won't ever shut the frick up and answers all of the teacher's questions before they've even been asked. Her voice constantly drones on as she tries to impress everyone, when really we all just want her to chill out and take a damn breather for once.

  I swear, you're starting to make these topics up. 'Mary Sue'?

  Or Marty Stu, depending on their gender. At first glance, most people aren't going to know where this sin is going... but for those English majors out there, I can practically hear their grumbles of egotistical approval already. 

  As you probably guessed, the term 'Mary Sue' was coined as a form of satire; a play on the overused archetypes that nearly every story protagonist gravitates towards. There are different levels and reasons for one to become a Mary Sue, but often it boils down to either shameless wish-fulfilment, or laziness on the author's part.

  Uh huh, that's great and all... But you still haven't told us who Mary Sue is?

  If you want a history lesson, Wikipedia's right there buddy. The short version is that she is a story-breaking character, who happens to be the central pillar to an entire plot. Everything in the book revolves around a Mary Sue type, from conversations to doors magically flying open just to let her through.

  A better example of this, would be any protagonist or side character who is overwhelmingly attractive, suffers little-to-no hardships in the story at all and always leads the cast as 'the voice of reason'. Think of them as carrying a secret magic wand in their back pocket, which acts as a free pass for them to abruptly resolve any conflict with a Deus Ex Machina swish.

  Deus Ex? Isn't that a video game? Why do you keep referencing terms that no one understands?!

  How else am I supposed to flaunt my vocabulary to strangers on the internet? I need that sweet, tasty virtual credit!

  Seriously though, Deus Ex Machina just refers to any dangerous situation where the heroes are left without hope, and a sudden unexpected power comes into play and saves the day. Why is this relevant? Because you'd better believe that your typical Mary Sue will abuse her unrealistic Deus Ex abilities like a button-masher in Street Fighter.

  This kind of 'fascinating' character comes in many forms, so let's have a little run-down of how painfully awkward each genre's Sue/Stu can become, barring any chinks in their everlasting plot armour.

  Romance: Absolutely stunning, straight-A high school girl attracts all of the dudes in her class upon entry, even some of the chicks without trying, but she wants the bad boy who pretends not to notice her good-girl ways... Except that he totally does, and then they live happily ever after until she dumps him for her taboo Phys Ed coach. Who is also madly in love with her, duh.

  Thriller: Newbie private investigator with incredibly-chiselled jawline decides to clean up his home-town, starting with the latest in a series of grizzly murders. Every deduction he makes is on-point and accurate before the evidence has even appeared on-screen, and the mystery killer is caught without incidence. Because he's actually good at his job, this makes for a 'thrilling' Point A > Point B read.

  Action: Two boxers, one ring. An underground match, only one will be able to walk out alive. Bets have been placed, the bell rings... The opponent starts to move, but then handsome Marty unhinges his mouth like a cobra and lets his ultra-mega-hyper-death rainbow beam of doom explode from the orifice, instantly melting his rival's face and reducing him to a pile of multicoloured goop. The crowd goes wild and he gets laid like 20 times that night, because why the hell not.