Epilogue

Epilogue 1.10

---Tahj---

     I pick at the scorpion meat, my stomach growling. Too bad that bird-beast didn't leave behind a carcass. And here I thought we'd be eating good tonight. A slight breeze ruffles the flaps of the tent. Crawford's snoring is enough to make me want to shove a pillow over his face until he suffocates. But pillows were a luxury of the pre-End universe.

     It's cold on my end of the tent tonight. Comma's out there sitting with her head in her lap next to the rip we tore open. Some people just don't know when to give up hope. Not that I think for a second that Em's gone and gotten himself killed—I have faith in the kid. I just don't happen to think we'll ever be seeing him again.

     Crawford snorts and jerks awake. He wipes his eyes and scratches his bearded chin. Maybe it's just my eyes playing tricks on me, but it looks like he's already starting to thin out. A strict diet of raw scorpion meat will do that to a guy.

     He stretches and shakes the sand out of his shirt. "What happened to the Aussie?"

     I shrug. "Beats the hell out of me. Said he had to go consult with the gods. Whatever that means." Grayson had been just as stumped as we had about how to get past the wind barrier. You'd think being a shaman and all would grant him special privileges. Apparently he's out of the loop.

     Crawford shifts his weight around. "Do you think there's a God out there?"

     "I think there's a god in here," I say, nodding at Miu-sama, who's fast asleep. Half of her paper-doll body hangs out of the pocket of my backpack. "Besides, didn't you say you saw one of those terrestrials with your own eyes?"

     "Don't remind me." Crawford shakes his head. "What I meant was... You know. God, capital G. It's just... I've been thinking about it lately, you know?"

     This is new. Gotta say, I had basement-dweller here pegged as an atheist. The guy's very demeanour reeks of someone who believes the universe is a cruel and meaningless place. And based on what we've seen so far, he'd be right to think so.

     "Why's that?" I ask.

     "Well..." He lowers his head. "Sometimes I think it would've been better if when the world ended, we'd gone along with it."

     "You thinking about offing yourself, big fella?"

     "What? Hell no. I'm just saying..." Crawford grabs a handful of sand and lets it spill through his fingers. "I used to be scared of dying. That wake-up-in-cold-sweats kind of scared. The thought of dropping dead from a heart attack made me so anxious I almost gave myself one. But that's all gone now. Now, I'm just scared of dying horribly."

     I close my eyes. I can still see the mutilated bodies of my slain friends, all mangled together in the blood-soaked sands. And hell, the first time I saw a glowdark do someone in, I wretched so hard I thought I was going to cough up a lung too.

     "I hate to break it to you buddy," I say, "but everybody dies horribly."

     Grayson returns at the crack of dawn. I'm up in a heartbeat; these days, it's in your best interest to be a light sleeper. I stretch a little bit and nudge Miu-sama awake. Shikigami sure love their beauty sleep. I place her on top of my shoulder and then draw back the flaps of the tent, stepping out into the muggy morning air.

     Much to my disappointment, Grayson hasn't brought any more dead scorpions back with him. Guess we'll be running on empty stomachs today. At this rate, we won't even need the zillbane; there'll be so little meat on our bones that the glowdarks won't even bother with us.