Mateless or Not I

Chapter 13 || Denial

❝ At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life❞

Chapter 13: Denial ( Beautiful! Banner credit to simba-aa)

My room is dim black, the only thing that is making it shine is the pure white moon rays, lighting my room up a bit. Screeches of car noises sting my ear, my head is light and I have had enough beating for today. Though not for Ryder, he will be back to hunt me down and make me pay for this whole one year of curing myself by ice. I rest my head against the back of my wall, hugging my legs towards my chest impossibly closer. I am really scared, it is only 8:00pm but he will be here in an hour and 5 minutes. I take inhale and exhale to relax myself, but I can't stop shaking. My body can't stop shaking, I want it to stop but it won't. This weird vibration is spreading across me, and all my bruises are aching every time I shiver.

Despite the fact I have my warm blanket wrapped around me, which is probably now soaked in blood but my body will not stop shaking. I shut my eyes, and bite my dry lips. I am cold on the inside not the outside, my body flinched every time I hear a car zoom by, obviously paranoid that Ryder will appear out of nowhere. I guess I am not that strong woman any longer, I am back to being the paranoid rosella. I know I could go tell, but I am just in shock. It is hard to explain how I feel but I am just in the moment of shock for three years I can do nothing. Whatever I do, everything just becomes worse.

'Calm down rosella' I inhale and exhale, still causing a burning feeling in my lung areas. My body is actually pretty damaged I don't understand why I am still alive? A few moments past with me just shivering, and my teeth chattering nervously as the time gets closer to 9:05.

I can feel my skin closing together, healing the bruises but it won't last for that long, he will literally cut them open again. Everything fell silence, my breath hitched as I looked around in the darkness keeping my ears opened. My eyes flickers to the time, it is just 8:10 but I feel like someone is here. My mouth is dead dry, all I can do is cough and when I gulp it is so soar.

Suddenly I hear unusual footsteps, each step I hear my heart drops down to the floor. I get up, my body is now shaking rapidly, my legs tremble as I try to walk towards my door. Right before I can hold my knob, it turns by itself, I gasp in shock and back up waiting to see the intruder right before my eyes.

"Rosella it's me" I hear a quite familiar voice whisper. Right before my eyes my best friend appears.

"Victoria" I sigh, tears forcefully come out, I run and hug her, letting myself cry like a little baby.

"I brought you some Ice, thought you might need some" she smiles, breaking out of the hug. I nod my head and walk up to my bed and sit down painfully. I am wearing my night gown so luckily the fabric isn't too rough that it is paining my bruises.

She sits on the floor in front of me and starts with my leg, I feel the cold liquid sting my bruise. I shut my eyes and wince in pain at every touch but sigh once it is all gone except for a mark. "Rosella, what are you doing! Reject him already, he deserves no mate, as loving as caring as you are! It's been three years for him taunting you. Just reject him" Victoria claims out of the silence, as she hands me some ice for my arms. Last night I got freshly new bruises, my body has slowly taken time to heal, and I guess it is because of his constant torture. I sigh grabbing the ice and slowly touch my bruise, sending shiver up my body.

"I know, but the thing is. I can't" I mumble as I eye my painful bruise slowly fade away. "I don't know why I can't. I think I am just afraid, to be mate-less".

Victoria looks at me sympathetically, she was the only friend of mines who knew about the torture, but now three people know and I hope to keep it this way; whilst the whole society thinks I am the happiest person in the world.