Chapter 3- Phil's POV (tw/ self harm)

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My dad smiled at me as I got into the car. "Hey, Philip. How was it?"

"A literal Hell." I responded. "I can't stand that kid, Dad! He thinks he is so much better than everyone. It's not even like he doesn't know what he's doing! He did every Physics question except for maybe two of them without any help. He said he's just 'too busy' to do homework and class work." I put air quotation marks around 'too busy.' "Yeah, he's too busy drinking and partying and recovering from hangovers. He's a complete idiot."

Dad shook his head. "That's just ridiculous. You know that if you ever started drinking and coming home drunk you would be in more trouble than I would care to mention. You're a level-headed kid, Philly. Maybe you'll rub off on him."

"I don't think so, Dad. He's been a complete ass since eighth grade. Some people never change."

We rode the rest of the way in silence, and my mum came out of the house as soon as we got home. "How did it go, Philly?" She asked. "A literal Hell." I responded. My dad winked at my mum. "He'll give you the rant later, I'm sure. For know though, Phil, your mother and I are going out. We'll see you later, kiddo."

I waved as Mum got into the car and watched them drive down the driveway before going inside. I immediately went to my room, reaching under my mattress, locating my razor blades and went to my bathroom. I pressed the blades to my skin and watched the blood well up, enjoying the moment of satisfaction I experienced. When the moment ended, I ran my arms under the tap and went to my room to do homework.

This all started in my freshman year when I came out as gay. I think most people already knew, but I guess that me saying it and making it official brought about the bullying. And then, as it is now, Dan was the person who made it the worst. I've gone to the headmaster many, many times. Dan would get suspended, and come back more pissed off than before. I learned my lesson after I got Dan suspended for a week. When he came back to school, he beat the crap out of me. I never went to the headmaster again.

I endured months of bullying before I broke. I found one of my mum's disposable razors and, well, you see where I am now. I've thought about suicide, but not seriously. I know that it would break my parent's hearts, and I know that I have more to live for beyond high school. I had hope for a better future.

I was laying on my bed, listening to my favorite song, "Uprising" by Muse, when my parents got home. I heard my mum come up the stairs and knocked lightly on my door. "Are you asleep, Phil?"

"No," I said. My mum came in and sat on my bed. "I was just coming in to say goodnight. Also, I got you this." She said holding up a shirt from my favorite anime, Attack on Titan. "I saw it in a shop window and decided that you should have a little something after your tutoring session was a literal Hell. Goodnight, honey." she kissed me on my forehead before leaving and closing the door lightly behind her.

I smiled at the shirt- I had seen it before and wanted it. I got up to hang up the shirt before laying down on my bed and un-pausing the song. I got under my comforter and cuddled with my Totoro stuffed animal before drifting off into a content sleep.

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