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Dan Howell

I watch as blood drips out of Phil's finger. I don't know whether to laugh or be concerned. I don't know how this guy gets himself into situations like this.

"We need to go to the hospital or you will get rabies or some shit," I tell him, biting my lip to suppress my laughter. Who gets bitten by a goddamn squirrel?

"Oh my god, I can't believe it bit me! What the hell!" He yells and I burst into laughter.

"Stop laughing at me, it hurts so much!" He whines, holding his finger in his good hand, and I put my hand against the small of his back.

"Let's go," I shake my head and lead him a few more blocks until we get to a local clinic. Phil is too focused on his finger to notice my hand around his waist, and I am kind of glad that he didn't as it would just make this awkward. When we get inside, it smells like dogs and children mixed with cheap toilet cleaners.

"How can I help you?" The woman at the reception has a nasally voice which instantly annoys me.

"My friend here got bit by a squirrel, can we see the doctor please?" I quickly explain to her and Phil's cheeks go red because of embarrassment. It's his fault, who strokes a giant squirrel randomly sitting on the pavement?

"A squirrel?" She questions.

"A squirrel."

"Well, okay he will have to wait for five minutes . You can sit on the bench." She says, and Phil takes a seat on the bench. I sigh and sit beside him, our legs touching because of the small space available.

"Show me," I take his hand and examine the bruise. It is a deep cut and Phil flinches when I accidentally touch it.

"Sorry, sorry," I apologise. He actually looks like he could cry right now. I have no idea what I would do if he starts crying.

"Are you alright?" I ask him as I look at his eyes glossing over. Oh fuck, please don't cry Phil.

"Yeah it just hurts." He says in a small voice and I feel like I should hug him but that would be very awkward.

"It has been ten minutes can you please make it fast?" I snap at the receptionist and she lowers her eyes at me. She leaves to check on the doctor and returns after a few seconds.

"You can go now," she says in a clipped tone and I give her a sarcastic smile after saying thank you.

We walk into the tiny booth, and Phil sits down on the metal chair when I remain standing.

"What happened exactly?" The doctor asks and I roll my eyes.

"He got bit by a squirrel, can you please bandage it fast?" I am getting annoyed with their shitty service. Also, I don't want Phil to cry.

"Alright push your sleeve up till the shoulder." The doctor says.

"It won't go up the shoulder." Phil says, as a matter of fact. Damn he really shouldn't have worn a sweatshirt today.

"Okay then take it off." Phil looks at me with his cheeks slightly pink, asking me to leave the room silently. I am not leaving him alone with this creepy doctor. When the doctor leaves the room to go to the booth behind it, Phil raises his eyebrows at me.

"It's okay, you don't really have anything to hide, we're both guys and we both have nipples," I roll my eyes.

"You're annoying me," he softly says and attempts to pull his shirt off. I don't think he can.

"Wait, wait, wait, you're going to hurt your finger more, let me do it," I say and draw his hands away from the hem of his sweatshirt.

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