Cry-Baby

Chapter 28

Hey do you want to go to the park? I texted Clyde when I woke up at 9:23. It was early, but it was so difficult to sleep last night with my mind racing. After my mom and Brenda spoke I came out as if I hadn't heard anything. I didn't want to talk to them about it.

Sure. I'll pick you up at 10? He replied back. That gave me enough time to eat. I didn't know why exactly the news of him leaving made me feel like complete crap. It was selfish, but I wasn't even happy that he had gotten into college. Like I was happy for him, but it was way too soon! I wanted us to finally become friends. Maybe more, I don't know. I hadn't thought about what I wanted.

Okay. I answered. I just wanted us to get along long enough without any arguments. That's what I wanted. But how could that happen now?



Clyde picked me up at 10, and I stayed completely quiet during the car ride. I didn't know what to say in that moment. I spent part of the time looking at him, and the other half looking out the window. We made it and he waited as I walked over. There was no one currently here, as there usually weren't. There were a few tables around, mostly only used for parties. The kids side of the park was all the way on the other side.

I went ahead of him and made my way over to my favorite tree to climb. I climbed up and he followed. I went onto a huge branch and moved down it so he could get on. He had his back on the tree, facing me. I starked twiddling my thumbs, feeling my throat close up.

"Alex." I looked up seeing concern sketched in Clyde's eyes. "What's wrong?"

I could never tell what it was exactly that triggered my tear ducts to activate causing torrents of tears to fall from my eyes. I couldn't say if I was just too sensitive, or weak. I couldn't say it made me a stronger person. I couldn't say that I could hold it back. I couldn't say that I was ever even remotely happy that I could cry. I couldn't say it made me feel better. I could only say that I always knew when the tears were coming up.

But in that moment when I opened my mouth to tell him what I knew, a waterfall of tears just ran down my face, and my whole body was consumed in uncontrollable sobs. It really wasn't something to cry about, and to me it was a very stupid thing to cry about. Just because he was leaving. But despite what it was, I did cry.

Clyde pulled me into him and I was probably soaking his shirt all the way through. "You're leaving," I managed to say. "College." I sniffled uncontrollaby. I literally felt like the stupidest person. I should not be crying like this at all. I shouldn't even be crying.

He sighed into my hair. "I'm sorry." Sorry? If I wasn't crying, I would have laughed at that. There wasn't any reason he should apologize. If anything I should for being like this about actually great news. "I never finished what I had to tell you on the yacht..."

I didn't dare move my head back. I was still crying, but it diminshed to low sniffling and a slow and steady tear stream. I kept my hands around him holding tightly to his shirt.

"When you were upset with me in the bathroom back at school that day, I felt bad. I didn't want to, but I did. I think it had to do with you, after I tried to get get rid of you, being so nice to me. Especially when you took care of me in the alleyway that one night. You managed to do that for me and I just hurt you. I felt like a terrible person." He was rubbing my back as he was talking. "Then that day at this park you went up this tree and avoided me. I kind of tried to be nice, but I really didn't know what to say to you, and you hated my guts."

"Then you started hanging out with Julian, and I couldn't believe it, after Will and James, you just. I mean, he's not like them, but how annoying you were to me, I only imagined him hurting you. Since you took care of me, I decided to stay around just in case something happened. I don't know, you weren't so pissy around him. But you weren't always so pissy to me either. Everytime you came back around to try and be friends with me, I had so much fun. You could be a really cool person."

He took a pause before continuing, "But you can also be an annoying person. You're so nosy. Asking questions about me getting beat up, about why I broke up with that one girl. So nosy and it was a piss off. But when it came to breaking up with that girl, I was kind of glad for your nosiness. So then I told you about my fighting and you actually did the funniest and most ballsy thing."

He started laughing and my tears stopped, but I kept sniffling. "You actually went to my boss and told him I wouldn't be fighting anymore. You. You who was always crying. Always crying. Even from the first day when I could see it in your eyes I didn't like it. I didn't like that you were crying. And I hadn't realized that I would actually see you cry many times after that. Almost always my fault. Even that time you slapped me and actually started crying about having done it."

He moved my head back and wiped at my tear stained face. "I'm always making you cry and I hate that. It makes me so mad at myself, sometimes I lashed out at you about it. I absolutely can't stand making you cry," His eyes started welling up, causing mine to get wider, "And I'm so sorry." He rushed out in a whisper before he actually started crying. He tightened his arms around me and moved his face to the crook of my neck. He didn't shake or make any noise, but I could feel my shirt getting wet.

The shock I was left in was almost uncomprehendable, and I just started rubbing his back, really unsure of what to say. My eyes were still popping out of my head. He cares.

He always cared.

Author's Note: There's your insight on Clyde's thoughts!. All this crying is pretty depressing. But what's even more depressing is that there's only 2 more chapters left in this book D: Oh Em GEE!