Coward?

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We had been in Rivendell for five days. I arose earlier than the others, getting a small breakfast, sometimes, before them, speaking to the Elves in their native language. They smiled and were very good natured toward me. I would go off around the courtyards, and the gardens, admiring them. I would garden with the Elves, my nimble hands pulling weeds, or pruning trees.

The entire time, I was away from the dwarves. Where there was the company, there was Kili. Sometimes I would see them, but I would walk away before they had a chance to call after me. I grabbed my meals, often skipping lunch, and ate them in the willow tree, taking the plate back to the elves. Fili joined me for dinner. Otherwise, I was alone for the other two. Sometimes I went to the library to read, or take the book to the tree. At night, I would head to bed very late, after the dwarves would be asleep. I was exhausted and hungry sometimes, but I didn't care.

Often, while I wandered about, always making my way back to the willow tree I loved, Fili would join me. Sometimes it was filled silence, and others it was filled with stories from our pasts. "Fili." I said as we strolled. It was midday, just before lunch. "You always speak of your mother, but might I ask why you never speak of your father?" He stopped, and I turned back.

"Our father went off to battle one day, and he never came back. He is dead. We were very young, I was maybe ten or so, and Kili was five. I don't remember much of him at all, and I know Kili doesn't. All I remember was that our mother loved him deeply, and mourned heavily upon his death. According to her, he was kind, brave, and a family man, but also deeply loyal to the kingdom. I wish I knew him."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. He sounds wonderful."

"He would have liked you. He seemed to have been a great man. Don't be sorry. It's not that sore of a subject anymore." I faced him, and grabbed his hands, squeezing them.

"I understand. I never knew mine either. I was ten according to Dwalin when I had come to him. This is all I have left of them." I said softly. I pulled off my ring, and Fili took it, examining it. "It was my mother's. My father gave to her as her wedding band obviously." Fili held it out, and I put my hand out. He slid it on my right ring finger, a smirk on his face. I met his eyes, smiling. Then I laughed. It must have looked quite ridiculous if anyone saw that.

Fili caught onto my laughter, and we stood there, our amusement echoing off the walls and around the garden. "This is the happiest I've seen you since we arrived at Rivendell. I'm glad." He grabbed my hand once again, holding it snugly. "It must be near lunch time. Would you like to get some now? Before the others arrive?"

"Yeah." He offered me his arm, bowing exaggeratedly.

"Shall we go, Miss Iridian?" An amused laugh left my lips, and I couldn't help the smile that graced my lips even after. I bowed as well, linking my arm with his.

"Yes we shall, Master Dwarf." I said. We walked in silence, unlinking our arms as we arrived. Talking was heard, and I froze. The company was already there. Fili stopped as well, his eyes looking back at mine with worry. "I'm not ready to face him, Fili."

"Come on. You can do this. Just get your lunch, and then you can leave to the willow." He said gently. His hand found mine, pulling me along to the others. My feet moved numbly, and dread filled my heart. I hadn't faced Kili since the day we arrived. I still wasn't ready to. He let go of my hand once we got in proximity of the dwarves.

I silently picked up a plate, staring at it. I looked up, and saw everyone watching me, silently. They were waiting for what I was going to do. I caught their eyes, Dwalin's, Balin's, Thorin's, Fili's, Bilbo's, and my eyes flickered to Kili's, as much as I tried to keep them away. They were filled with sorrow, and he looked like he wanted to say something. I looked at my plate again, and set it down, turning away, and running. I stopped behind a wall, and used my hearing to listen.

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