Intent [Wattys 2017]

Chapter 3

HARRY

Holy Shit. What was that?

This is all I am able to do, I'm just questioning what the hell just happened back there in the bar. It wasn't like it was the first time I had to handle a drunk Emma. We had had many times like tonight, the four of us at the pub having had a little too much to drink but tonight, something was different.

It was the way my fingers tingled as they brushed against the soft skin of her hip. Her arms draped on my shoulders, piercing blue eyes staring up at me, and then the shift. The air between us changed, between the sleeping girl sat next to me in the car and I.

Emma seemed to see right through me as we looked deeper into eachothers eyes and then her eyes at my lips. Did she want me to- no not a chance, and she was drunk so... No we were friends, just friends.

Don't get me wrong I love her. She's my best friend, my family even with the years apart. And sure I have imagined a life with her always around. What we could have been if I had only been able to stay. But what could I do? We were only eight at the time and my father couldn't turn down his promotion in London for a childhood friendship.

She's still asleep next to me, her mouth slightly hung open, probably due to all the tequila. The same blonde curls shaping her face just as they had when we were young, she was just as beautiful but she had changed. Emma was a tad darker now. Don't get me wrong she was still the carefree open-for-any-adventure kind of girl as she was when we were growing up but now... she had secrets and scars and I didn't know how to help her.

It was no secret that she had gone through something within the years we were apart. If it wasn't for the small faded scars scattered on her arms or the sporadic shoulder pain she would experience, the way she conducted herself with other guys was a surefire sign. How cold and detached she could be to those she was physically close to. God what had happened?

"Hey mate, thanks for the night". Henry's whispers brought me out of my train of thought. Patting me on the shoulder from the back seat "you need any help with her?" Motioning over to the still sleeping Emma with an almost sleeping Lina on his own shoulder.

"No mate, I got her" giving him one last reassuring smile and the two were gone.

I didn't want to make her up, she looked too at peace. Of course I could try and carry her, I would rather that really if I thought I would get away with it, but there was no chance. I had tried our first year but unfortunately I learned the hard way.

It had been a similar night like tonight. She had had a few too many pints, fell asleep in my car, and I, not wanting to wake her up, began carrying Emma up to her room, oh if only we had gotten that far. Halfway up the stairs she woke up, began thrashing around in my arms and I nearly dropped her right there on the stairs. Well after that incident she promised me to never do it again.

From that moment I was sure it was an issue of feeling too vulnerable, too out of control but I didn't know why. Something had to have happened during the years we were apart and damn I wanted so badly to know but instead of pressing her on it I simply promised to always wake her up and allow Emma to walk herself to her room.

It had been years since that night and although I had tried to talk to her about the time I was gone she never told me anything. I still didn't know where her issues were rooted. All I could do was be there for her when she needed someone, partially trying to make up for the time we lost.

Jesus how long have I been sitting in this car? Honestly I don't know how she didn't wake up with Henry and Lina's loud departure, it definitely would have made this whole situation easier.

I can't wake her up, not yet at least. Ok I'm just gonna drive around for a bit, give us some time. Gently pulling out of the spot, I just start driving around the quiet dark city.

She loved sleeping in cars. Em always told me how the warmth and the gentle hum of being on the road would give her the best sleep she could ever get. Maybe I'll just drive for a few minutes more, make sure she got at least a few minutes of good sleep before I had to ruin her slumber.

God I'm tired. Glancing at the dashboard clock I notice that it's been 30 minutes since I dropped Henry and Lina off. It was nearly the early hours of the morning by now but I'm not worried she would notice it took longer for us to get home but the way she was drunk she would never realize. It was late and hell I could barely keep my own droopy eyes open, I need to get to bed. So here I am again, on the curb outside the entrance of her residence hall.

Now is a rare opportunity for me to just look at her soft features, the gentle up and down of her chest, the hum of her breath. She is still wrapped up in my jacket, hugging the fabric close to herself. So beautiful, so so beautiful.

Leaning over the center console I brushed the hair from her face and gently nudged my knuckles against the side of her jaw and cheek.

"Emma" I whispered leaning closer to her ear, "Em, wake up".

Her eyes flutter open, two blue orbs meeting mine. "Umm, I hate you".

"You know you say that to me every time you, know that right?"

"Umm, and I mean it every time" she mumbles proceeding to pull my jacket closer to her body.

"Still stubborn even while intoxicated I see."

"Oh shut up Harry" she mumbled grasping at the door handle.

"Let me get that, one second" I say quickly grabbing my keys, still in the ignition, and making my way to her side of the car. Pulling the door open she proceeds to stumble out of her seat, only just getting her bearings to stand on her own until I had my arm around her again, steadying her.

"You really don't have to do this every time you know Haz" sighing under her breath as we stumble through her bedroomdoor.

"Oh really, what would you do without me Em?" I chuckle. Honestly she would still be at Fletchers if it wasn't for me and my general distaste for most hard liquor.

"I guess that's a good point" spitting back at me sarcastically before flopping herself on her bed.

"Come on, I'll get your shoes off" beginning to pull off her high heels to which I am acknowledged with a mumble.

By the time I'm done removing her shoes and pulling half her bedspread down she is nearly asleep holding onto my jacket around her body even tighter.

"Alright then Em, goodnight, see you tomorrow" and with that I leave her to sleep although I really want is to lay on the bed beside her, just to be near her like when we would have backyard camp outs when we were young. Jesus Harry what has gotten into you? Yes you love the girl but not like that, you couldn't, could we? And it's all I can think about as I walk outside in the rain soaked street and make my way home.

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A/N: Hey all. Hope you enjoyed hearing Harrys POV. I know its early on in the story but I couldn't help myself. I'm so excited to keep going with the story and publish some of my favorite chapters but I must refrain until the right time, Harry and Emma aren't ready for all the dram quite yet. 

If you have a questions or suggestions or requests please feel free to comment, I'd love to hear form you. 

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All the 1D love and Happy Spring!!