The Blood Of A God || Loki Laufeyson

XIX - Civil War

March 19th, 2016

You happy now, squigglesquirrel? :P

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Chapter Nineteen

Seline's hands ran through her hair, pulling harshly at the roots while she did so.

She didn't know what to feel. She was angered and saddened, frightened and unsure, and frustrated and guilty.

She was far away enough that no one could hear her, so she decided to release the most prominent emotion inside of her. The forest had large trees and rocks, and the next time she came across a boulder, she was ready. She went up to it and pulled her fist back, and with one swift and tough movement and an angered shout, her closed hand was smashing through the stone. It shattered under the hit, tiny chunks of the rock flying around her.

She was angry and frustrated with the thieves that had attacked them, but also with herself. Maybe if she had been a little faster, fought a little harder, made them stay behind... Maybe they wouldn't have died.

She didn't even want to say their names. She continued to refer to her deceased friends as 'they'. That fact just made her even more angry.

Her fist was covered in the dust from the shattered stone. Two knuckles were broken, and her wrist was fractured. She stretched her hand out, grunting a little as the bones slowly moved back to the right place.

One of the main perks about being a vampire was that you could let out all of your emotions and never worry about hurting yourself. However, you did have to worry about yourself.

Seline swallowed and ran her left hand over the now completely healed fist, looking down and now remembering all of the damage she had caused over the years. It was a lot of carnage. It was a lot of destruction. She quickly shook her head and forced the memories from her mind.

Memory lane was dangerous for her. It was split two ways, one dark and the other light. If she went down the dark one, she might never come back.

If there was anyone that calm her down right now, it was Jordan. But Jordan was in another realm.

Seline had met Jordan in 1865, during the American Civil War. He gave her hope in a time where there almost was none. He helped her when she needed it, and she did the same for him.

She sat down and leaned against the trunk of a tree, closing her eyes. If she didn't want to remember the bad ones, maybe she could distract herself with the few good memories she had.

The war was almost over. It was 1865, and there had been more bloodshed than all of the future wars that the Americans were involved in combined.

Seline was a nurse. She had just gotten out of one of her 'episodes' as she liked to call them, and was feeling guilty. In the span of two and a half years, she had nearly murdered more people than she could count, been violent and merciless. She hadn't killed anyone, but she had come terribly close to it.

Now, at the time, it seemed like a good idea. To help people instead of kill them. To balance herself out. And in the four years that the war lasted, she had done exactly that.

Being a nurse during the American Civil War was an interesting profession. It was also a job that many people couldn't deal with for very long. Most of the nurses didn't last more than a few months, but Seline had lasted a  full four years. She had saved hundreds of people, and she nearly felt that she had made up for all of her wrongdoings.