Loving the fat girl [Book 1]

9 - Sam

9. Arya

Try imagining the biggest mess inside your head and then double that to know what I'm feeling right now. 

I check the alarm clock on my night stand and the red numbers read 01:34 am. Groaning, I roll over and slam my face back into the comfort of the pillows. I haven't slept yet. Although my body is begging for just a few moments of peace, my mind is spinning in circles, forcing my body to stay awake.

Nothing makes sense. 

A kind of sadness is forcing me into this stage of limbo. Not quite sad but not happy either.

Sam hasn't talked to me since the incident.

Actually, I've barely seen him. He's obviously trying to avoid me even though I don't know why.  I should be the one who gets to be mad. For one, he pretty much put Seth in hospital and then he point blank refuses to answer any of my calls. I defended him! He didn't even have to tell me to do so and yet I made up a lie for him.

Maybe I should just go talk to him. Confront him and not give him a chance to ignore me any longer.

When I twist around in my bed, I let today's happenings come back to life behind my closed eyelids.

I can't believe what I did today...

Why did I help Seth? Everything inside me screamed to let him go, let him deal with all of this on his own. He is so ungrateful and infuriating and so painfully helpless... 

The look in his eyes when his parents stormed into that hospital room. The hostility. 

I shiver and wrap myself into my blanket. The moon is shining bright tonight. 

I wonder if Seth is awake still...

Ugh!

Unwrapping myself from the warm covers of my bed, I set my toes on the icy ground. Discomfort spreads through my body and I immediately regret my decision to go downstairs to get some water. However, I tip toe out of my room, across the hall and down the stairs to find the kitchen with the lights still on.

Curious, I step into the brightly lit room to find Sam collapsed on one of the chairs, his head resting on the kitchen table. Empty bottles are scattered around him and his phone is flashing and vibrating off the hook.

"Sam," I whisper, stepping closer to him. I tentatively touch his shoulder.

Is he really asleep?

"Sam, come on... what are you doing?" I grab onto his shoulder now and shake him until he starts to stir and finally looks up at me with blood shot eyes.

His pupils are unnaturally dilated as he looks around the room. A hand shoots out in front of his face to shade himself from the bright lights in the kitchen. He tries to push himself up but ends up almost falling off his chair. I somehow manage to catch him right before he's about to tumble to the floor.

"Jesus, Sam! What are you doing? Getting drunk on a week day? What's your problem?" I scold him and he grimaces over-dramatically.

"I'm gonna go to bed." I'm still gripping onto his shirt, supporting him but he pulls away from me with ease.

"Oh no you're not!" My voice is now slightly too high-pitched and I can feel myself go into arguing mood. "You're not going to ignore me for days and then drink yourself into a stupor! This is not part of the deal and you know it. You're supposed to be the adult here-"

"But I'm not!" His outburst catches me by surprise and I stumble backwards. "I'm not an adult, Arya! I go to high school just like you. I never wanted you here in the first place! Just because my parents aren't here with me, doesn't mean that I'm some kind of shelter for orphans!"