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WAKE UP

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I look Jungkook right in the eyes and repeated what I had said once more.

"Jungkook... Let's not be friends."

I notice a gasp escape his mouth. He was shocked. Of course, who wouldn't be. Asking not to be friends is quite harsh, but to whom? Do I feel bad about it? Or am I making Jungkook feel bad about it? Forget it, I'm done. I have reasons not to befriend someone who's an idol. 

My heart begins to hurt. Not now Hanbyul, I need your strength to reject Jungkook's friendship. I clench my chest in a bit of pain. Please Hanbyul, cooperate with me. I finally gain control of my heart and awaited Jungkook's reply.

J U N G K O O K

Not only was I shocked by Yoonbyul's sudden statement, I was disappointed. I was really hoping that we could have a friendship. Is there something about me that is lacking?

"Is there a reason why Yoonbyul?"

Yoonbyul took some time to think to herself.

"Give me some time Jungkook. I just don't feel like talking to you right now. I'm sorry."

I watch Yoonbyul go up the stairs to her bed. I was left in silence. I don't even know what to do. I stood there motionless, lost in my own world. Maybe I'll try next time. I really don't want us to be awkward with each other, even if we're not friends. 

━━━━━━━━━

The clock points to 6 o'clock. It's a bit late now. I decided to call my hyungs to meet up with them. I really needed some cheering up from them. Possibly some counselling from them too. 

My hyungs and I all meet up outside under the big tree. The sun was far off the west, almost meeting the horizon.

"So, what did you want to meet up for?" Jimin asked curiously.

I take a seat on the cold grass and sighed.

"I have a problem. Tell me. Am I lacking anything?"

They all look at me with wide eyes.

"You don't seem to be lacking anything Jungkook. If it's someone who's lacking something, it's Namjoon hyung," Taehyung laughed, getting grass on himself as he rolled around.

"That's harsh. I'd like to tell you that I'm not lacking anything except for dancing. That's an exception," Namjoon said.

"No no no, I mean like personality wise. What am I lacking?"

Seokjin patted me on the back, "Everyone lacks something. Except for me though because I'm perfect."

"Hyung!" said Jimin as he punched Seokjin lightly.

"Ha, I got a little carried away there. What I meant is Jungkook, there's always one thing that's always lacking. You never know what it is, maybe you eventually will, but sometimes it's better to forget about what you're lacking, and think about what you're capable of," said Seokjin as he provided me with support.

"You're right."

"You look much gloomier than usual Jungkook, is something wrong? Was there another reason on asking us to meet up?" Hoseok asked with concern.

"Well... you see... do you remember that barista who worked at that coffee shop?"

"The one you were curious about?" asked Namjoon.

"Yeah. It turned out to be my roommate, Seo Yoonbyul."

Yoongi suddenly shot back up from laying down on the grass, "Your roommate is a girl!?"

I knew that my hyungs would be shocked that I shared a dorm with a girl. I never told them who my roommate was until now. All of them, in fact, shared their dorm with each other. Seokjin and Namjoon shared a dorm on the first floor. Hoseok and Yoongi hyung shared a dorm on the first floor too. And Taehyung and Jimin hyung shared a dorm on the third floor. I applied to this school a bit later than everyone else due to errors with my application. That's why I didn't get a chance to share a dorm with one of my hyungs. But I didn't mind that it was Yoonbyul who was my roommate, but now I can feel the awkwardness between us growing.

I continue talking, "Yeah, she's my roommate."

"Why is the maknae always so lucky with girls?" joked Jimin.

"You see. The other day at the coffee shop I asked you guys to wait for me right? I went to ask her if she wanted to be my friend. And she kinda agreed to..."

"Then, congratulations on making your first friend at this school," Taehyung clapped.

"Actually, it didn't turn out too well... I sort of threatened her to become my friend."

"What!? You threatened her? That's an interesting way to begin a friendship..." Yoongi said as he sat down on the grass again.

I start telling them everything about the current situation I'm in, "...and she told me let's not be friends today."

"Your friendship with Yoonbyul may have had a rough start, but you should give it some time. She probably has reasons, and maybe hasn't had the time to tell you," reassured Namjoon.

"Let's head back to our dorms and go to sleep. I bet when you wake up tomorrow morning Jungkook, you'll get your answers," Yoongi said as he stood up and brushed off the grass on his bottom.

"You're right. I'll go get some rest."

Y O O N B Y U L

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up. Voices were in my head acting as an alarm. I peep open my eyes, it's an overcast today. I know, I'm tired, but why do I feel like something's going to happen today?

I walk down the stairs after I changed into my clothes for the day. I look around to see if Jungkook's still in the room- he's not. A rush of relief went through me as I went to brush my teeth. My face is reflected on the mirror. I smile wide to see if I brushed my teeth enough. Looks good to me. I change into my tired face, today's life I chase reality, but I'm a dream chaser. If only reality was just a dream.

I grab my backpack and placed my notebooks in it. Oh right! I dash back up the stairs and grabbed my medicine case on my nightstand. I've been feeling in quite a bit of pain lately in my chest area. I must carry these immunosuppressants around. I place the medicine case in my back pocket.

I almost forgot, my first class today is composing which means I'll be sitting next to Jungkook. Talk about being awkward. I keep on living on the day that I feel like I understand, but I don't. I don't even understand what's a friendship anymore. I haven't even had a proper one in years.

After arriving in the classroom, I walk to my desk to see Jungkook with his head on his desk. No matter how tired or sleepy I am, I've never slept in a classroom before like Jungkook. I place down my backpack and sit down. I felt uncomfortable as I sat down, only to realize I had my medicine case in my back pocket. I take it out and place it inside my desk.

Class was about to begin, but Jungkook was still partially asleep. I wanted to tell him to wake up, but I decided not to. Ugh. My feelings are really damaging my so called semi-friendship with Jungkook. The morning that wraps around my thousand emotions is this morning. All of these feelings seem like they're going to overflow in my mind.

J U N G K O O K

The composing class ended without me even interacting with Yoonbyul. I usually talk to her since she's the only one who wouldn't scream when I'm talking to her. No one else is in the classroom. As soon as the bell rang, everyone dashed out of the classroom already.

I grab my notebooks and was about to walk out of the classroom. Suddenly something caught my eye. There's something in Yoonbyul's desk. I take it out. It's a medicine case.

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