Potter

Chapter 85

Hearing the first howl was painful. Hearing the second was worse.

The third time the yowl pierced through the night, Tonks cast a silencing charm over the door to the den room, her hair a dark blue to match her grim expression.

"Well," she began weakly, brushing her bangs out of her eyes, "I guess we know. Remus insisted Caiden should take as much wolfsbane as possible, so he should be fine tonight."

"Will he be?" I asked, wrapping my arms over myself as I stared at the thick door that separated me from my currently-canine little brother. There was a small thud from behind the door that made me wince, and I didn't hesitate to sink into Tonks' arms when she opened them up for me, hands moving soothingly up and down my back.

"He's a strong kid. He'll be okay- Remus will help him through it." She said, almost managing to sound confident. Worry still snuck into her tone though, and I let out a heavy sigh.

"He didn't need this. Too much- he's too young, it's too much-"

"Both of you have been two young for everything." Tonks corrected, kissing the top of my head before she let me go to look at me sternly. "So don't you take this onto your shoulders too heavily- you're his sister. Not his mother."

"I've been a shitty sister," I said miserably. "I just dropped him off with you all and went to school- I left him, Tonks, just after we had lost our parents- I-"

"You were a kid. You are, still, very much a kid," Tonks hushed. "You had every right to go to school. He wasn't abandoned. He went into the arms of people who were equipped to take care of him as best as possible- and I don't see how you could've been there for him any better when you were grieving, too. You were a child. You lost your parents, too."

I could feel my eyes watering, and quickly used the ends of my shirt sleeves to wipe at my eyes as I let out a sigh. "I know. I know. I don't why it's hitting me all of the sudden."

"You finally have time to process everything," Tonks said simply. "You've been fighting in a war for the past- what, two years? Three? Everything might hit you a little hard for awhile."

"Sounds like fun," I muttered wearily, wiping at my eyes again. "You said you had hot chocolate?"

Tonks' smile was small. "I think I did. Want some?"

There was another thump from down below, and with a deep breath I glanced at the door before I nodded slowly.

"Yes. Lots of it."

And by the end of the night, I had had five cups of hot chocolate, no sleep, and two slices of toast, all while curled up in the kitchen and trying to ignore the knowledge that my brother had been locked in the downstairs room, prowling around as a wolf. Tonks did a wonderful job at distracting me- and Teddy too, when he would wake up in the middle of the night.

And now, later in the morning, I still sat in the kitchen, my little brother sitting across from me and telling me about his night as one might talk about it as casually as describing an experience at the park.

"It was so weird though. Like I kinda remember it, but I kinda don't- it was weird." Caiden said as we sat at the kitchen table in the later morning. He sat comfortably at the head of the table, a stack of pancakes being steadily ate between his words. My smile was tired as I looked at him- it was often that I pulled all-nighters, and even rarer that I functioned well after them. I'd almost certainly be taking a nap later, and I envied Teddy greatly for still sleeping, having inherited his mother's heavy-sleeper genes.

"Weird is good." Tonks said encouragingly, setting another stack of pancakes in front of him just as Caiden finished his second plate. Tonks, who was used to feeding werewolves, did not mind in the slightest. Caiden smiled, already cutting into the new stack before he looked over at me with a frown.