Underestimate Me ⇝ anakin skywalker x reader {book 1}

39.

My head shot up, he was looking at me and I had no where to run from the question. It was so unexpected? I was so confused as to where it came from.

Well I mean of course I knew where it came from - Anakin and I need to do a better job of hiding us.

"What?" I asked for clarification. Did I hear that right? "Who, Anakin?"

"Yes. Sorry, the question may have been too abrasive, I've just noticed little things between the two of you, and how you often go off together. I want you to be careful with your emotions, (Y/N)." He lectured, "When I was younger, I too harbored feelings for a beautiful woman. So I understand to an extent what is going on."

"Anakin and I are just friends. Nothing more." I say, I'm not exactly lying? We aren't married.. So that means our relationship could be described as friends. Really, really good friends.

"It's best to keep it that way. Its not that it's bad to have these feelings, it's natural. Everyone gets them. As a growing Jedi it's important you make the right choice, for the order." He tells me.

"I'm well aware of the responsibilities I have as a Jedi." I mutter, and clench my fists. I hated being talked to like I was a child. I respected the way he went about this but I hated this. It was my fault I was in this mess but at this point theres no way I can get myself out of it without both me and Anakin being miserable.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan." For giving me even more to think about.

"Feel free to talk to me anytime. I do care about your progress as a Jedi. Many do. It seems like only yesterday that Master Windu and I came to rescue your family. Be prepared to share the information you shared with us, only to the council. You've done an excellent job, despite what Master Windu might tell you." Obi-Wan stood up and patted my head before leaving. I did think of him as a friend, but what he brought to me just now confused me greatly.

I did not see the world the same way they did. How can it all seem so clear to them when I am so lost? It seems like it should be so easy. That just don't get close to anyone, do the right thing and invest yourself in the force. But I have feelings. They're things I can't ignore and they make me feel so selfish for having them. Why can I not be human and do the right thing for others?

How can anyone just be okay with this? We're talking about stripping me of my humanity. How can anyone respond to what they ask of me with "oh haha thanks for messing up my emotions. Im dead inside." If they put us in these horrible situations how are we any better than the Sith?

But of course these are stupid questions. Master Windu has answered these questions for me before, many times. I know why I cannot give in, but I do it anyway.

I stayed in that room contemplating for what seemed like hours. When the ship landed I came out. I can probably expect that Obi-Wan filled in at least my Master on our talk. I walked up to the door, I couldn't wait to get out of there.

"Eager?" Ahsoka asked, she was the next one.

"A little. I'm happy to be home." I said. I needed clean air. Anakin soon joined us, and again I couldn't look at him.

When the doors opened we were greeted by Master Yoda, Master Plo Koon, and Senator Amidala and her people. I hugged Padmè as soon as I saw her. I missed being her protector, life was easier then. When I was dreaming of training, it seemed much simpler. Looking back on how much I hated that, I'm surprised I even said that.

"I'm happy to have you back, (Y/N)." Padmè smiled.

"Happy to be back in one piece." I said.