babydoll † lashton

[2.5]

It was the day that I dreaded the most. Never have I thought I had to attend a funeral of my lover. Mum was tying the necktie of the suit we were renting. After she finished, I look at my reflection before me: black suit, lavender tie, fresh lavender dyed hair in a quiff, my combat boots. I picked out the lavender tie since it was Ashton's favourite colour; the last shoe colour he wore before he died.

We quietly drove to where the funeral was being placed and I wasn't looking forward to it. I can't stand seeing his lifeless body laying in a casket at eighteen. It's just not fair! He had a lot to live for!

My breath hitched once I saw his body lying in the casket, eyes closed and not breathing. It was like yesterday I was happily cuddled up against him on my bed. Once in awhile I could hear his giggles ring through my brain, those wonderful giggles that could cure cancer. Once you hear it, your whole face lights up to a smile.

I look up at the screen to see his photos in a slide show. I watched as a few of his baby pictures were placed in there. If we had kids, our babies would've been fucking adorable I thought as I quietly sat in the back of the room. I didn't know anyone here except his mum and siblings.

I stare at the beige carpet below me when I felt a presence next to me. I look up to see it was Nona."Long time no seen."she smile at me.

"Yeah,"I sigh as I look at her. Her hair was now blonde instead of black unlike the last time I saw her.

"I'm sorry about the lost of Ashton, he was such an amazing person. Even though I've known him for a little while."

"Another beautiful soul in heaven."I quietly add to her statement.

She nod before asking,"What you been up to since I last saw you?"

"The two of us were supposed to run away together to France; but this happened."

"That's really sad."she imply as I nod. A lump form in my throat and it hurts to swallow it. I look at the casket again to look at his figure.

"You two were the cutest couple I've ever met. You guys didn't give a damn on what people thought of you two."she state."He was the girly one to the punk one."

It was true, even though he pointed out when people were giving us judgemental stares. All I did was shrug it off because they knew we were in love and they despise it.

I wish that I could rewind time and start from the beginning again. Just to meet Ashton all over again and fall in love with him again and again. My mind flashback to the very first time we met; in the back of the English classroom. I was just staring at his curls until the lady asked if I been here the whole year.

The second time we saw each other was in History the following day. When we made that eye contact, I was taken away on how beautiful he was. I still can't understand to this day why people at the school didn't like him.

The day when we came to his house the first time, I felt guilty for being such a dick to him. He didn't know about the relationship between me and Owen—why I refuse to like him and all that shit.

I look to see his siblings near his casket and having a few tears escape their eyes. I look over to see that Nona disappeared; with all my might I went up to Ashton's casket.

I look down to see his beautiful face, still and quiet. His beautiful hazel eyes will forever be closed; I will never get to see them ever again. His curls were neatly in place, usually they would be all over the place by his flower crown. This time he wasn't wearing his usual pink and white flower crown.
This time, it was now being worn by Lauren. I decide to let her have it since that's all she have left of her older brother.

The last memorable moment we had together was Warped Tour; when we danced to Sleeping With Sirens. That moment I knew he was the one; I wanted that song to play at our wedding in the mere future. That was the first time I let him wear my clothes; now I wished he wore more.

There were still so many adventures I wanted to do with him, but it was cut off too short. Tears brim my eyes as I stare down at his lifeless figure. I'd never thought we'd come to this babydoll I thought. We still had so much to do together, I want you back so bad, I just want to cuddle you one last time. I'm so sorry I wasn't there by your side when you needed me the most, I was so stupid to not notice any possible danger you were going to face. It's all my fault that you died...It is my fault that I killed you.

I didn't realise I was crying when I felt a soft tap on my arm. I look to see it was Lauren with sadness flickering in her eyes. She held out a tissue for me to use to dry my tears."Thank you,"my voice quietly croak out.

She nodded before giving me a hug. At first I, was taken back that anyone gave me a hug—except Ashton. I went to hug her back, knowing that she needs comfort at the moment."Thank you for making Ashy happy."sh e quietly thanked me.

I look down at her before responding,"He was the one that made me happy."

Several hours later, we had a prayer for him so that God could make him safe and comfortable up there since he's no longer walking on earth. Before Anne could close his casket, several people wanted to say something to him; tell stories about him or memories that he had with him so people could smile.

I volunteer to go next, I was nervous to tell my memories I had with Ashton. Half the family doesn't know I existed until today.

"I'm Luke, Ashton's boyfriend."I introduced myself. Then felt stupid for introducing myself like that, but had to go on since it was too late.

"We all had multitudes of memories with Ashton since he was the most spectacular person you would ever run into. Sadly, no one at school bothered to know that about him."I start, I look around to see that everyone has all their attention on me.

"Ashton is the most unique person I had ever known. He was the only person I deeply cared about and wished he was back again. It kills me that he's no longer here, by my side. I would love to hear his laugh one more time, just hearing his laugh made my whole day."se veral people in the crowd awed at that part as a small blush cover my face.

"I wish I could go back time and meet Ashton all over again and just fall in love with him again. That boy changed my life forever and now that he's no longer here—"I paused since at any moment I would break down. I guess I'm not that strong after all."I don't know what to do anymore."I add, my voice very close to breaking.

"He was my anchor, he kept me sane when I wanted to go insane. He made me happy when everything went wrong. He was my everything, my source of happiness. Now he's not here anymore, I have nothing. I told him I loved him; he was taken away from me. Just like that."I finish as I stare at my boots.

I look up to see half the people in tears when I told them the last part. That's now my love life. I had a Romeo and he was taken away from me.

I went to sit back down and watched as Anne sadly close Ashton's casket. Tears were streaming down my face, knowing that my babydoll is gone forever.

Have fun without me babydoll, I thought. until we meet again.

The End

That is it, everyone. I have tears streaming down my face since I can't ever imagine my giggly dork in a casket. I had to go through this with both of my grandpas...so I no longer have a grandpa. In May it's going to be a year without my dad's dad, in August it's going to be a year without my mom's dad...

Anyways, enough about me. I hope you enjoyed the book as well as I did. This was my first Lashton book and I'm pretty proud of it. I'm going to make another Lashton here soon so be on a lookout for that!

Not all love stories have a happy ending you know...

Take care lovelies! See you soon! x