thirty-two; things have changed

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"We're supposed to be training."

It had been a full two hours since you spoke last; for two hours you two had sat in complete silence, your thoughts loud enough to be heard from two galaxies away. You had been lying down on your stomachs at the edge of your bed, playing with each other's hands.

Every time you looked at him, your heart felt like it had just sustained a fresh wound, every time you saw his chest rise and then fall with each breath, you tried to remind yourself how completely in love with him you were.

You decide to not answer him, and close your eyes, focusing on his breathing. He props himself on one elbow, on his side, and finger combs the hair out of your face. The touch of his fingertips against your skin makes your veins feel as if though fire is coursing through them, making you feel alive, but at the same time, it feels like it's slowly draining you of your energy, killing you.

"I don't like repeating myself," he adds, his tone getting sterner, his fingers leaving your face.

"You say you don't feel the Dark side inside you anymore, but your temper is still so baaad," you half-chuckle, half-groan, dragging out the last word as you sit up.

"My temper has nothing to do with the Force."

You walk over to your drawers and find your training robes, and hesitate for a second before you nod your head towards the door.

"You're kicking me out?" he asks, an innocent, puzzled look on his face. He's lying face down now, his arms crossed, his chin resting on his forearms.

"..I need to change."

A thought flashes across his mind: But I've already seen you naked; but he doesn't vocalise this thought, instead, he buries his head underneath his arms and, his voice muffled, says, "Go ahead and change. I won't look."

You keep scanning his mind as you change; he's worried about you, and worried about the way you are now perceiving him.

He's worried he's going to lose you, and he's angry at himself for letting the Darkness ooze out of him and nesting inside you.

You don't know exactly how or when you realised that the Dark flows with a certain ease inside of you, but you know that you wouldn't change it for anything. When you first began training with Kylo, you were sure of one thing; that the Darkness inside of him must be extinguished.

After endless sleepless nights, you know that the last remaining shred of Darkness inside Kylo Ren got taken away when he was faced with the decision of taking his mother's life or not. When he had back from that mission, he was changed. Something inside of him had shifted.

You had changed too. All those nights alone, all those nights were you wept and screamed in pain, knowing he was out there getting himself hurt, the insane presence of evil and maliciousness aboard the ship had taken a toll on you. Maybe Snoke's ever-present present also had something to do with the change that was taking part inside of you.

With Kylo being gone, there had been no reason to hold onto the Light inside of you.

You look at him silently studying the arch in his back, and suddenly, you start thinking about the time that Anakin had come to you in a dream. The time where he had made you promise you'll help Kylo find his way back to the good path again.

Anakin was wrong; the Dark side is the good path.

"Luna," Kylo sits up, hurries over you in a split second. There's a mixture of sheer horror and absolute awe on his face. "Your thoughts. Anakin. My grandfather?"

Your heart stops in its tracks- your thoughts, how could you think so freely, how could you think about something so crucial and let your mind be unguarded?

A few noises escape your lips, stammering.

"What were you thinking? Tell me!" He grabs you by the shoulders.

You're still shocked. How can you tell him when you had promised Anakin you wouldn't?

"Answer me!" he bellows, shaking you.

"When- When you were away on that mission- when you left me alone for who knows how long-"

He rolls his eyes as you say this, so you stop talking, and push him away. You're not scared of him; he can shout as much as he wants.

"Get your lightsaber, we're training," you say coolly, opening the door. He grabs your wrist, roughly pulling you back.

You wince and groan in protest, but he keeps his fingers pressed into your pulse.

"How could you keep something like that from me?"

You feel yourself getting impatient. "He made me promise."

*

He looks into your eyes, but can't find the usual spark of light inside of them. It's like something inside you has broken, and everyday he finds himself asking if he's to blame.

He would give literally anything to take you in his arms right now. Even after finding out that you kept such a vital piece of information from him.

But you're not even looking him in the eye.

He wants you so bad. To feel the taste of your tongue again, to feel your fingers roam around his bare skin. 

He wants to leave this forsaken ship and build a new life.

But it feels like you're a whole other person now. Someone completely different. 

It hurts. Bad.

He wants to scream a million and one things at you. He wants to shake you until you snap out of this cold facade. He wants you to make him feel warm and whole again.

But somehow, he knows that there is no more warmth inside of you.




It would mean the world to me if you could check out my original story: The Midnight Dilemma - undercover agent, bad boy gang leader, cartel adventures, secrets, tension, enemies to lovers, etc. It's a WIP and I'd love any feedback you might have. Thank you sososoososooo much 🥺


(A/N: comment what you think is going to happen!)

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