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Allie doesn't believe the car crash that caused her amnesia was an accident. She knows the truth...
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WARM WIND FLOODS the car through my open window, lifting the hair from my shoulders, and I squint at the bright afternoon. The sun is glowing in the sky, and wisps of white are sporadically scattered across the expanse, visible above the treetops. I stick my hand out the window, letting the breeze filter through my fingers, enjoying the feeling on my skin.
After over a week in the hospital—the majority of my time spent unconscious—it's nice to finally get some fresh air, to breathe in oxygen that doesn't smell like it's been sterilized beforehand.
I cast a nervous glance to my left, at Sofia in the driver's seat. Neither of us have spoken a word since I was discharged. The fact that she's my mother, yet I have zero recollection of her makes the idea of conversation feel impossible. The last thing I want to do is upset her any more than I already have.
There's a pressing anxiety in my chest at the thought of going home, wherever that might be. I'm hoping once we arrive, something there will be the trigger to filling in the gaps in my memory, as Dr. Meyer put it. I still believe gap is too friendly a word to describe the reality of what I'm experiencing. All of my memories have been ripped away, and I've been shoved headfirst into this life without a blueprint.
Swallowing hard, I reach forward to turn on the radio, desperate for a distraction, something that will break the deafening silence. Tapping my fingers on my knee, I nod in time with the beat.
"Do you remember this song?"
The eager question catches me off guard. It's the first thing Sofia has said to me since pulling out of the hospital parking lot, and I feel speechless for a moment. She looks between me and the road in quick succession, hope dancing on her expression. It takes me a second to realize the gravity of what she's asking, and when I do, my heart sinks down to the pit of my stomach.
"No," I begin, uncertainly, "It's just... an easy melody, I guess."
Her face quickly becomes closed off, and unreadable. She flashes me a tight smile, though it wobbles almost imperceptibly in the brief second that it's visible. "Of course. I suppose it is."
She returns her gaze to the street in front of her, and I see her swallow. Unable to watch her any longer, I turn away to look out the window again, guilt stewing in my chest. I know it's not my fault that I don't remember, but that doesn't stop me from feeling responsible.
Instead of drowning in my thoughts, I decide to focus on my surroundings. The town of Pender Falls, British Columbia, feels brand new, though I've been told I've lived here all of my life. I watch as we drive past an elementary school, drifting by the children playing outside.
After turning onto Seymour Avenue, we pull into the driveway of a house numbered 514, and I make a mental note to remember both. Sofia kills the engine, and we both sit in silence, staring at the building for a moment. I spare a glance in her direction, seeing the faraway look in her eyes.
