rant book ect; ✰ book updates + me yelling

PETE KEY (SPACE INTENDED)

ho ho holy shit guys

you may be a hardcore peterick shipper and if so idec this is some important shit

so i was looking petekey up on youtube (normal thing to do) and i came across this

THERE ARE PEOPLE NAMED PETE KEY

THIS POOR ASS OLD MAN IS NAMED AFTER A SHIP THATS KILLIN ME

YAH KNOW HOW MANY PETEKEY SHIPPERS WALK UP TO HIM LIKE "UR REAL BRUH REAAAAAAAAL" THEN A PETERICK SHIPPER WILL COME UP BEHIND THEM AND SLAP EM THEN THEY GET INTO A FIGHT AND HAVE THE POLICE CALLED ON THEM THEN THEY ARE TAKEN TO JAIL AND THEIR FAMILIES TRY TO BAIL THEM OUT BUT THE FEE IS TOO HIGH SO YOU SPEND A YEAR THERE AND YOU GET A TATOO ON YOUR LEFT ASS CHEEK THAT SAY "PETE KEY"

im so sorry for that

but like this Pete Key guy is goals like...

that little girl just wanted to see the turtles that july but she was out of luck cause...

iT WaS thE foURtH oF JUlY yOU anD I wERe FIreWOrks

im apologize again

well anyway i now dedicate my life and soul to Pete Key and his beauty and grace
so i wrote him a fanfic

PETE KEY X CRUSH

Crush swam the current with the other green sea turtles. It was just any other day until all the turtles began to freak out at something. Crush tried to figure out what was so terrifying for his turtle mates. Then he saw it. The majestic and beautiful, Pete Key, in it's natural habitat. It swam gracefully through the waters as the other turtles swam away, frightened or maybe just intimidated by his glory. Crush seam forward and took a picture of Pete Key, putting it under his shell for safe keeping. He then swam away with the other turtles. Crush lay in his bed alone that night as his wife was on a business trip. His son, Squirt, walked in the room with a book. "Daddy, will you read me a bedtime story?" Squirt asked. "Of course!" Crush exclaimed. Crush swam to Squirt's room, the book in hand. Squirt wanted to be read the tale that was passed on generation after generation in Crush's family. The tale was called "Shrek is love, Shrek is life." He read each line more gloriously than the next and once small Squirt had fallen asleep Crush went to his room. He wanted to see the Pete Key one more time. Just a glance at it's beard one more time. Then he had an idea. In "Shrek is love, Shrek is life" the character worships Shrek until he comes. That's exactly what Crush did. Each night that week he prayed to Pete Key at the shrine he'd made for the majestic creature. Then that Thursday Crush heard a noise. Could it be? "Crush" the voice called. "P-p-pete key?" Crush called back. "Tis I" he answered. "Crush couldn't believe it. Pete Key was here. The Pete Key floated gracefully over to Crush. "Oh Crush, you know that the way you summoned me can have only one ending don't you?" Pete Key asked in his voice, deep like Morgan Freeman's. "Yes, my Lord." Crush responded. "Fantastic." Pete Key hissed. The naked Pete Key took his penis and slid it into the now wet Crush (who wasn't just wet from being under water c;;;) . Crush moaned loudly as Pete Key opened him wider and wider and used his flexibility for good. Then Pete Key groaned, about to cum. Then "Daddy, what are you doing?" the now terrified Squirt asked. "Squirt go!" Crush yelled to his son. The Pete Key was angry he had been interrupted. Pete Key turned to Squirt and yelled "How dare you interrupt the almighty, Pete Key! You are now here by banished to Sex Slave Mountains for 10,000 years!" Crush yelled for Pete Key to stop, but it was too late. Squirt was gone. "Now where were we? said Pete Key with a grin. "I don't want to finish." Crush whispered. "What did you say!" Pete Key screamed. "I will not continue after what you did to my son!" Crush yelled back. "Fine then you can have the job if giving my dad blow jobs for the rest of eternity!" Pete Key yelled. With that Crush vanished and now lives in a dog cage next to the father of Pete Key's bed. To give him blowjobs at command.

Pete Key is love, Pete Key is life.

well um im just gonna pretend that didnt happen and go now. byeeee i guess