TWISTED KNOT

Chapter 1 - Expectations

CHAPTER 1 - EXPECTATIONS

I am what people could call a huge idiot. It isn't as though I had always been like this. In fact I am actually a really cautious person and extremely careful. It had all started when I met him. He had turned me into one. I had once heard that love could do that to you. Not once had I believed in such a thing. Now, it was as though the choices in my life had piled on so high that with its weight it had caused me to trip and all my choices had fallen and scattered around. Leaving me with all the bad.

Before I had met him I had not believed in loving someone so intently and having such complicated feelings. So much were it was simple for me to choose idiotic decisions. I am not going to lie, I'm not going to say that my love for him was at first sight. In fact I don't even recall the actual day we met or how we began to talk to each other. Love isn't necessarily like that.

I do however remember though that we both happened to go to the same bar since the beginning. After a day's stress at work I would always go to a bar nearby my apartment. Somewhere along the time I had spent there we met and began talking. Our conversations had always varied from pointless to some very deep secrets about ourselves.

In truth I was a pretty smart person, had a good job, and was well off in money due to saving up for so long. Not to be conceited but I had a very good life that I had so carefully built for myself. With how I was raised I really had no other choice, I had to be independent. Subconsciously I had surrounded myself in perfection and with people who were just as well-off or even more so. He...though...was not like those around me that I socialized with. Instead he was in a plain position in a very risky industry. He wrote books for a living and sure he sold a good amount but he wasn't a very famous author and he was a bit careless in spending.

Still I was drawn to him. At first I was in complete and utter denial that I had fallen for him. I'd try so hard to convince myself that I was mistaking it for a rebellious stage in my life. That I was only interested because he was what I did not want in my life. Being in denial though could only last for so long. Soon I came into acceptance that I truly did like him for well...himself. His smile, the rumbled laughter, even his rugged 'I just woke up' look.

So when I rushed out of work to see him I was surprised to see him in such a slump. His shoulders hung low and his eyes were intently on the empty glass of liquor in front of him. I knew that he had been slightly moody lately but today was a huge sign that something had happened. As though it was like any other day I took the seat beside him and asked for two Jack Daniel's on the rocks.

"You look like crap," wincing at how 'smooth' that sounded I dared to peek at him.

His grey eyes seemed slightly glazed as he glanced at me over his arm. The Bartender handed me the drinks and I passed one towards him. "Here."

"Thanks," he lifted it up with a nod.

Seeing him like this made me nervous. He was always a stoic yet carefree kind of guy. Reed being like this was a first. "Want to talk about it?"

For the longest time he hadn't said anything and I didn't think he was going to. So when he spoke it caused me to jump up a bit.

"I hadn't realized how attached I had gotten." He said.

It was more like a grunt then anything. At first I had thought that I had misheard him. By the way that he swirled his glass and looked I knew that I hadn't misheard and he had said exactly that. I turned my attention to my own glass. My fingers wrapped around my cold dripping cup. My feelings had become chaotic. I hadn't realized that he had someone important in his life. Thinking about it, why wouldn't he? Despite his not so great style he was still a good looking guy and a writer. Girls tend to dig that right?