Shy Side (h.s. au)

XXIII

I lay on the hospital bed as the woman rubs ultrasound gel on my stomach, my lips curving at the cold gel. I've gotten used to the feeling and I have finally come to terms with the little girl in my stomach. I finally feel ready to go back home but I felt like I needed time to understand. I went to counseling and took time to understand that I'm going to be a mom.

The most important thing that has happened was the fact that I feared I wouldn't be there for my baby as my parents weren't for me. It's not selfish, as explained to me, it was just fear that has lingered for years.

When I drive home, I'm scared. It makes me nervous Harry won't welcome me back and I'd understand. But his ring is still on my hand.

I close the driver's side door and set my sunglasses on my nose, walking up to the house. My knuckles knock on the door and I don't get a response, but I hear something in the back. As I walk back, I see Harry beneath his car and I take a deep breath, not knowing what will happen.

"Haz?" I call, his body rolling out from beneath the car.

"Luc," he says, my hand taking the sunglasses off. He sits up and I try to keep my stomach hidden beneath my jacket, his body standing tall.

"I-I know you probably hate me, but I want to say I'm sorry. Please, know I didn't mean to hurt you," I say, his feet walking closer to me. He doesn't say anything but his eyes stay focused on me.

"Just know I still love you and I'll leave if you don't. I'm so sorry I never called or answered, but I-" his hands grab my cheeks and his lips press to mine. All my fears wash away and I kiss him back, holding his waist.

"Just promise me you won't leave me again Luc. You've run so much. I don't think I can take it again," he whispers, my lips pressing to his again. I keep him at a distance so he can't feel my prominent stomach, but he doesn't seem to mind considering our lips stay together.

"I have some explaining to do," I whisper, his green eyes meeting mine.

I take hold of his hand and he takes me inside, the two of us sitting on the couch.

"It's been four months," he says, my hand running through my hair.

"I know, and there isn't a really good reason I can give you as to why. You are the person I trust the most and I was scared out of my mind," I start but he grabs my face, forcing me to look at him.

"Why were you scared? I'm in love with you and yet you were still scared? Please, I need to understand," he stresses, my eyes looking away from him. I take a deep breath and I reach into my pocket, grabbing my ultrasound from this morning.

I hand it to him and his eyes go wide, his shirt tight on his arms as he tenses up.

"Lucy," he states, my hands setting over his.

"Haz, please," I say, but he stands up.

"You're four months pregnant and you didn't feel the need to tell me sooner?!" he yells, looking at me.

"I know you're probably furious, but please hear me out," I say calmly, his eyes looking into mine. He sighs, letting me continue. I grab his hands.

"I went through counseling to help me better understand what was going on. I was afraid that I couldn't be there for my baby, the way my parents weren't there for me. So I got help and came to terms, which all spanned over those four months. I wanted to be in the best mental health to come home to you, but that doesn't excuse my poor communication," I say, his sigh heard.

"The images I had while you were gone horrified the shit out of me," he says. "I thought you ran away with someone. Went to find someone else. I had no idea and I was scared. I haven't slept much, I've been sick with worry, and I'm exhausted. Please talk with me," he says, my head nodding.

"I feel horrible," I say, his lips kissing my forehead.

"Don't anymore. I have you here and that's all I want," he says, my head nodding.

He hugs me close and he kisses me, my eyes closing. I kiss him back and he pulls away, kissing my cheek.

"I lived in fear of walking and seeing you with another person. It scared me so much," he tells me, wrapping his hand in my hair. I hug him close, his head leaning on top of mine.

"I searched everywhere, and when Matt and your aunt didn't know where you were it made everything worse. I couldn't understand why you would leave, after everything," he whispers, my hand clutching his shirt.

"I-I have never dealt with this before," I whisper. "The reaction I would get from other people, the lingering nerves of not being there for a baby, I-I just...I shouldn't even make excuses," I whimper, not realizing that Harry's support means everything. I should have never run but I needed to come to terms with this.

"Luc," he starts, sitting me back on the couch. "You have to promise me this."

He grabs my cheeks and kneels in front of me, cradling my face in his hands. He looks tired, just from his features. I've done this to him and it'd take years to make up to him.

"Promise me, from now on, you come to me with anything. Whether you're scared, nervous, upset, I don't care. But I'm still your fiancé and I deserve to know what is going on up here," he says, brushing his thumbs over my temples to insinuate my mind.

I only nod and he moves his head up, kissing my forehead. "Lucy, I want to take care of you the rest of my life. Be there for you and show you that I will never judge you. I want to be the one you come to. I don't mind that you go to your family, but I'm your family too. And we are starting one too. Hell, we have a lot to prep for, but I want to be right by your side the entire time."

His green eyes are so soft and he runs his hands through my hair, pushing it back so he can see into my eyes better. But he surprises me when he moves his hands to my stomach, leaning his body down and kissing the top of my stomach. Just by the action, I feel her kick and he smiles.

"Now, I didn't expect that," he chuckles, my eyes welling with tears. I can't believe how easily he's talking this out with me, my hands setting over his.

"S-She usually doesn't kick me," I smile, his eyes meeting mine. His lips part.

"A girl?" he asks, my head nodding. He leans his head back down and lays it on my stomach, my hands coming to his cheeks. I can tell he's happy and he just holds me close.

"Has she kicked before?" he asks, my fingers tracing over his eyebrow.

"Yeah, about two weeks ago. It's usually when I'm active and moving a lot. Never when I'm just sitting down."

He smiles, staying in the kneeling position and holding me close. I lean down and rest my head on his, kissing his hair.

"Thank you for taking me back," I whisper.

"I never let you go. You've always been mine. No matter what."

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