Thomas Sangster Imagines

#58 Crash (Sequal ; Sequal)

Thomas's Pov

The tears ran down her face, she sat beside me, staring at a large stone with my name engraved in it. Even if you asked me to, i couldnt explain how i feel. 

I feel, so dead, so lifeless and so hopeless. 

It reminds me of those days, when the skies are grey and you feel just plain horrible. That day when everything just goes wrong, and you feel disgusting, like you just wanna sleep. 

i feel so sad, so utterly terrified. My wife, is sitting here on the ground, in front of MY grave. I'm here, i am. why can't she hear me? If she just knew how much i missed her and loved her, if she knew i was here to look after her.. if she just knew. 

Its so frustrating. When i touch her hand or her body, its like a cold chill not a human hand. She feels a cold wind brush against her skin, not my hand nor my body. 

****

one year later

I watched her walk away from Y/N, she let go of her hand slowly and waddled into her first day of kindergarten. Seeing my little girl take her first step into something new, is amazing. But i'm not there to hold Y/Ns hand, tell her everythings okay. I'm not there to comfort my baby girl when she cries.

But i am here

i am 

i wish they'd notice me

i'm standing RIGHT HERE!

Im watching everything happen but i have no choice but to watch and stay where i am. Its like torture. I'm watching the people i love suffer, i'm watching them go day by day, grieving. 

I know Y/N's hurting, i know shes grieving. Because every single day she goes to the graveyard, she goes to see my grave. Before i was buried, Y/N insisted that i wear my ring even when i'm dead. 

I looked down at my ghostly pale hand, staring at the silver band around my ring finger. 

Y/N looked beaten, she looked so utterly torn and worn out all the time. I wasnt there to help her.

i just wanted her to find another man, love him as much as she loved me. But she wont, she swore an oath to me, i wish she'd just break the damn oath. 

all i want to do is wrap my arms around her, hug her, cherish her, tell her everything is okay.

But i cant, it drives me insane. I'm literally going insane. 

I just want to touch my wife, touch my little girl.

i'm going to go insane

standing here not being able to do , A SINGLE FUCKING THING

,IM RIGHT HERE, JUST NOTICE ME.

I JUST WANT TO BE NOTICED, I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED AGAIN, I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN. 

I NEVER ASKED TO BE DEAD.

the, end.

___________

Tbh I hate this one

shoot

me

pls