Hold It Down

Chapter Ten | Deep

Chapter Ten | Deep
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Deep as empty pockets nigga

We come at they pockets before we have
empty pockets slime

That shit get deep - Big Sean
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Dolani

"Dolani please, just hear me out already. I'm so sorry, okay? I know I fucked up, bad and you might never talk to me again, but I just need you to forgive me for this." Renae pleaded in a sobbing tone as she trailed behind me like a lost puppy dog. I paid her no attention as I closed the steel door to my locker and slung my MCM back pack over my shoulder. Renae didn't owe me a damn thing, I didn't even give a fuck anymore. Of course, I was still hurt a lot by the both of them, but I wasn't going to allow them to run my life.

I continued to walk down the hallway, ignoring every word that she said to me. I made my way into my AP English class and took a seat in my usual place on the back row. Unfortunate for me, I took this class with Renae and it irritated me even more when she came and took the seat next to me. This bitch just didn't get it, but I was on the verge of snapping on her with no remorse.

"Dolani, just talk to me, please? We're best friends, best friends listen to each other and forgive them when they're wrong. Damn, I fucked up, I admitted it but you won't even talk to me. Some best friend you are." She said and that was it for me, you all know my temper isn't the best and I'm not good at controlling it, nor my hands, thanks to my dad. Before I could stop myself, I punched her dead in her mouth so that she'd shut the fuck up already. She fell out of her seat onto the floor as she held her bleeding mouth. I stood up from my chair and towered over her, with my short and frail frame.

"Fuck you Renae, that's on everything I love. Don't question me as a damn best friend when I have been nothing but good to your fake ass. Best friends don't fuck each other's boyfriends behind their backs you asshole. It's not even so much as that, but you sat in my face every fucking day, telling me how he wasn't shit and that he wasn't good enough, but you were fucking him too. Best friends don't cross each other and you crossed me like I wasn't shit, so fuck you and this fake ass friendship bitch. I hope you and that bastard rot in hell together. I tried to hold my temper and just ignore you, but you brought this on yourself. Leave me the fuck alone because next time, I won't spare your ass." I ranted and stepped over her body, kicking her in the process as I headed for the door. Tears were on the brim of falling from my eyes non-stop as I made my way outside of the class, meeting the teacher there.

"I heard everything Ms.Johnson and that was a very unfortunate circumstance, but I can't allow you to stay in my class for punching a student and al of that foul language. I won't write you up or send you to the office, but I'm going to send you to the Library to sit and cool down for the remainder of class." My teacher said as she stood in front of me. I nodded with my head held down as I clutched my lime green bag tighter in my hand.

"Thanks Mrs.Black." I mumbled to her as I rushed off from her class into the now empty hallway. I walked with my head down as the tears fell at the sound of the bell ringing. I couldn't hold it in any longer, I broke down again. It all hit me once again, making me stop in the middle of the hallway and sitting down against the lockers as I sobbed. I couldn't even help it at this point.

I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them as I sat there on the floor. About ten minutes passed and I realized that they weren't worth it. I'd told myself that so many times before, but right now I was embracing it. I wiped away my snot and tears and stood up from the ground. I was too much of a bad bitch to cry over those snakes. My name is Dolani Jalila' Johnson, I don't need them in my life right now. I could do bad all by my damn self.