Good For Gone

Every Morning

I turned on my heel and hightailed it down the street. I went to the coffee shop, hating to shell out another $4.50 for a cup of black coffee, but looking for an excuse to go this far off campus.

Not to mention, this was the most run down and tired I'd felt in months, which is impressive for a college student.

As I walked back to campus I texted Tony, who always woke up obnoxiously early to go to the gym.

"What's up buttercup?" He responded after a minute.

"I'm skipping my morning class, want to get breakfast."

"Why are you skipping?"

I thought for a second, "Didn't sleep well, I think I'm getting sick."

I sure as hell felt sick, but somehow I still felt better than I did. My stomach still ached but the tension in my head was relieved.

"Hope you feel better babe," I smiled at the phone and shoved it into the pocket of my pajama pants.

I got back to my dorm room which was mercifully empty, stuck the coffee in the mini fridge and collapsed into my bed.

Luckily the class I was supposed to go to wasn't very intense so I was able to drift off to sleep peacefully knowing that I wouldn't be burdening my future self too much.

I was awoken a few hours later by Miriam's coat flopping onto my face.

"Well, at least one of use is getting some sleep."

I pushed the damp coat off me and turned over, "Yeah, sorry about that."

I heard her desk chair creak and a sigh, "It's fine. Anything you want to talk about?"

I turned over, only able to see the top of her blonde head, and said, "No, I just don't feel good."

She twisted her head around to me, looking sympathetic, "Well if there's anything you need just ask, "She smiled," I mean this in the most selfish way possible I like sleeping at night."

I laughed and waved her off, turning back over to face the wall. There was a surprising sense of ease in me since I'd gone investigating that morning.

It was like living in this comfortable limbo, where I didn't have to see him but he still felt so close. It was close to the feeling I had every morning last summer when I could wake up and know I could walk to his house and spend the whole day with him.

I just laid there for most of the day, drinking in that feeling, before getting up and ready just in time for my last class.

On my way back to my room I got a text from Donna asking where she was picking me up for practice.

I'd almost forgotten.

I texted her that I was in front of the informatics building and her cannery yellow car swerved around the corner a few minutes later.

I jumped in and we sped off. My hair was immediately upturned by the wind, which I should have expected. Donna's short hair was always tossed around, in a stylistic way of course.

I wish I could pull it off the same way she did, but my face was a bit more boyish than I preferred without the waves of light brown to frame it.

Our fellow bandmates lived in a tiny house off campus where we practiced.

I was a late joiner to the band, only really there because my voice sounded 'alright' when layered under Lorne's.

Honestly, the only reason I'm in is because Lorne dubbed me his honorary little sister. And according to him, being an Indy band, they needed someone to offset how scary and Amazonian Donna is.

We got out and went in through the garage.

Lorne was sitting on the couch and I took my opportunity. Turning to Donna I put a finger to my lips and she rolled her eyes continuing to the living room.

Getting to my knees I crawled across the carpet towards the couch.

"It's about time you got here." He said to Donna. I could tell he was going to ask about where I was when I leapt over the back of the couch.

He yelped as we both toppled to the floor. I wound my legs around his neck and yelled, "The Boa Constrictor strikes again."

He rolled over and tried to pry me off, but my legs were locked on too tight.

"Say uncle!" I laughed

"Uncle, uncle, uncle." He wheezed, and I released him.

"What's the score, Donna Marie?" Ha asked, still laying on the floor.

She sucked air between her teeth and said, "I don't think you want to know."

"Loser." I sang from my spot on the floor.

"Just wait," he said, sitting up, "I'm going to get you one day."

He still looked the same as the day we met. Tall, a little chubby, with long golden hair pulled into a bun. He's one of those people who just makes you feel comfortable around them no matter what.

Band practice was short because Dominic, the banjo player/drummer, was sick.

Donna dropped me off in front of my dorm and once I got to the room I took off my makeup and collapsed into bed, only to wake up a few hours later.

I quickly learned that the only way to subdue the little bubble of nerves in my stomach was to get ready and walk all the way to the alley, just to make sure the side were still there.

I did it every morning for weeks. Every time the spot was empty and the woman glared at me as I left them money. Eventually, I started buying sticks of jerky and leaving them too. But I never saw him

Until one night when my band played at the new coffee place, which is actually called The Java Lab. As I sang lightly from the small stage I caught a glimpse of someone familiar just outside the glass door.