Into the Heart of a Killer: Memoirs of an Assassin

Chapter Twenty-One

My heart stopped in my chest. For half a second I couldn't figure out why I recognized the woman, and then I realized, she was nearly my exact reflection. A bit taller, a bit fuller in every place, and with more wrinkles... But the same facial structure, the same build, the same hair. Her eyes were bright and filled with mirth, but that mirth was quickly extinguished as her eyes met mine.

"Liliana?"

That gave it away more than anything. I hadn't heard that name from a woman's lips in ages. All of the men that I had killed knew me as Liliana, but the way they'd said my name had been... different. They hadn't said it as if they'd recognized who Liliana was, other than an upstart noble girl. Sol had said it differently, but he'd been the only man she'd shared a bed with. But the way this woman said her name... there was a huge difference. Her face contorted with multiple emotions. She looked regretful, pained, perhaps even... relieved? But about what?

"M...M..."

"Amirah, dear?" Ebenezer appeared at the doorway. He gave me a quick smile and gave Ceseth a disapproving glance.

"You..." Amirah started. "You didn't tell me..."

"Tell you what? This is the girl I was telling you about."

"She's nothing like what you said," Amirah argued. "She's...she looks just like me."

"Well, it is a coincidence, I suppose."

"It's no coincidence," Amirah said softly, her eyes never leaving my face. She was searching for something and coming up empty. "That is my daughter. You told me she—"

"I know what I told you," Ebenezer cut her off with a scathing glance.

"Why?" Amirah turned and looked at Ebenezer. "You said she was a young noble looking to get affiliated... but... but my daughter was..."

"Sold," Ceseth filled in. "To me."

Amirah turned and assessed Ceseth for the first time. Something lit in her eyes, but fizzled quickly at Ceseth's coldness.

"Hello, Amirah."

"Ceseth."

"You know both of them?" Ebenezer asked, his eyes wide. He was obviously not expecting this.

"I do," Amirah said softly. "Ceseth and I—"

"We knew each other once, many years ago, when I bought her daughter from her."

"Well, this is..." Ebenezer ran a hand down his face. "This meeting is over."

"Wait!" Amirah said. "Let me...let me speak with my daughter. Please."

The initial surprise had worn off, and now all I felt was... rage. I wanted to hit her. I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to ask her what made her think selling me to Ceseth had ever been a good idea, how this domino effect that led us together again was because of her. That I was pregnant (maybe) because she had sold me to Ceseth, who in turn had sold me only in body to Ebenezer—whom she was now going to marry?

My eyes darted down to her finger.

Sure enough, a large jewel sat upon her slender fingers, twinkling in the sunlight.

"You don't get to talk to me," I seethed. "You sold me. You didn't want me then, you can't expect me to believe you if you say you want me now. You have no right to even call me your daughter. I stopped being your daughter the day you decided you didn't want to be my mother anymore. You ruined my life by selling me, you... you... you bitch. You don't deserve to be a mother ever again. I hope he doesn't knock you up, too, because the two of you as parents? That kid would be better off dead."

Amirah stared at me with shock, but I turned around and started to storm off before she could speak again.

"She's pregnant?" I heard Amirah whisper behind me. Ceseth fell into line behind me, silent, though I expected harsh words from him later. Perhaps even a beating. But that was the life my mother had sold me into. She didn't know how many beatings I'd received in the eight years I'd been under Ceseth's tutelage. She would never know how much I had suffered for her desire to be rid of me. Had she gotten what she wanted? Did she truly regret giving me up, now? Had she lived in that house, alone, for the past eight years, with nothing to do but look out the window?

It infuriated me that it didn't seem like that was the case. She wasn't the absentminded, off-kilter woman I remembered leaving. The woman who hadn't even cried as I'd been dragged from the house, screaming at her to save me. These memories had been buried for so long now I almost forgot what she had looked like. But seeing her again... Even if I hadn't remembered what she'd looked like, being face to face with her would have reminded me. There was absolutely no way we weren't related. I was a carbon copy, almost. And that only made me hate myself more.

I wanted an apology, but I didn't know from whom. From Ceseth? He hadn't apologized to me a day in my life, and I didn't expect him to start now. My mother? Definitely not—I didn't want to see her again. The rage I felt was unmatched. It almost—almost—surpassed the hatred I felt for Ceseth. I was afraid if I ever was in her presence again it'd end with her dead on the floor. From Ebenezer? If I was alone in a room with him again, I'd castrate him myself.

"Jae'sa," Ceseth said sternly. I hadn't noticed I'd started heading out of town to the treehouse. "Home. The other one."

I stopped and nodded stiffly. Ceseth didn't wait for me as he turned and started walking "home." With a single longing look at the tree-line, I turned and followed him.