Chapter 19

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Noah actually heard Roni gulp and felt his own gut tighten. Fuck! Too soon! Maybe it was too soon, but there was no way he could hold it in anymore. He had to tell her.

"Noah," she placed her open palm against his chest, and for the first time since they'd begun kissing, he felt her pull away. "I think maybe you're confusing things."

Now it was Noah who pulled away. "What?"

"I'm feeling things too," she said, sitting up slightly. "But we have to be realistic, and I don't want you confusing the feelings you have for me as your good friend for anything more. I'm sorry," she said, adding insult to injury as she began to move off the bed.

"Hold on." He reached out and held her arm, feeling the pounding in his head start up again. "First of all, don't be sorry about anything, and whatever you do, do not take back what just happened here between us."

"I'm not taking it back. I'm just saying maybe you're confusing this—"

"I'm not confusing a damn thing." Noah straightened out too quickly, immediately regretting it as the dizzy spell hit him.

"Are you okay?" Roni moved closer to him again, and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Don't do this, Roni. Don't make this less than what it is. You're feeling it too. Don't try to deny it."

Her wide eyes blinked a few times, but she didn't pull away. "I won't deny I'm feeling something. I'd have to be a corpse not to. What I'm saying is if we do this, it changes everything."

"I want it to." Unable to hold back any longer, he kissed her lips softly again. "Don't you?"

"No! Don't you see? You're already saying things that will ultimately ruin our friendship. You're not in love with me, Noah. You may think you are right now—"

"Look," he said, trying desperately to not sound as angry as her last statement made him. "Maybe you're not there yet. Maybe you never will be, but do me a favor, and don't tell me what I'm feeling, okay? Because I fucking know what I'm feeling and that's that I'm in love with you."

She tried pulling away, but he held her tight. "I don't wanna lose you, Noah."

"You won't," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers.

"How can we continue to be friends if you're in love with me?"

"Why couldn't we?" His head wasn't the only thing that pounded now, so did his heart. Her words were sucking the life out of him, and he didn't understand what she was so damn afraid of. "Couples should be friends first."

She shook her head, adding to the growing fear in the pit of his stomach. "We're in two completely different stages of our lives and always will be. I wouldn't dream of asking you to skip past anything just because I've done it already." She pulled back and looked him straight in the eyes. "I'm all for staying friends, but if we continue to do this, there are some things I'm sure we wouldn't be able to handle."

"What things?" He'd be willing to try and handle anything if it meant he'd be able to continue to hold her and kiss her the way he had tonight. Hell, he didn't think he could go very long without it now.

"What happens if either of us starts seeing someone else?"

Instinctively his body went taut. The very thought made the pounding in his head brutal. "We'll work it out," he said through his teeth.

Noah knew he was full of shit. She was right. There was no way he'd handle seeing her with someone else, but at the moment, he'd say anything to keep her from walking out of his room.

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