When Stars Burn

Chapter Twenty: Saving a Star

A/N: Hello everyone! Thanks again for checking the newest update on this story. We're really close to wrapping this up and I hope that after all the couple torturous chapters I put you through, you'll welcome this sweet relief. I think many of you have been waiting for this scene. 

Enjoy!

***

For the second time tonight, I stood facing a house, bracing for absolution.

I might never get it from Julian after tonight, after having done everything in my power to ensure I would be the last person to deserve it, but I still needed to ask for it. If there was even the smallest chance that I might bring us back from the edge, that I might return what he'd given me, I would take it. That was about the same amount of risk Julian took when he not only gave me a home but gave me his heart as well.

I let myself into the townhouse with my keys, expecting it to be completely dark since it was just half past midnight.

The whole place was shrouded in shadows except for the living room. A single lamp glowed a pale yellow light, just bright enough to expose Julian from the couch where he sat forward with his head buried in his hands.

My heart twisted inside my chest at the sight of him, knowing the torture I'd put him through and that this wasn't the first time I'd reduced him to this.

"Hey," I said quietly, making no other move as I stood by the door.

Slowly, as if waking from a dream, Julian lifted his head, his dark green eyes tracing from my toes to my face. His cheeks were ruddy, his gaze just slightly glassy with emotion.

I marshalled my courage and walked into the house, crossing the distance between us before my knees gave out.

"I wasn't sure if you were coming back," he rasped as I stood in front of him, his hands moving to clasp each other behind his head. "I'm sorry about the money... I'm sorry if I..."

"Sshh," I murmured to him as I sank down in front of him, my hands resting on his knees. "Don't say you're sorry. There's nothing I should forgive you for. I'm the one who's sorry. I screwed everything up. I'm the one who shamed both of us—"

"I'm not ashamed of what you had to do before, Star," he said, gazing deeply into my eyes. "I'm not going to be ashamed if that's what you still do now. If that's what you wanted to do. But I could see how much it tore you up. I didn't want to give you more reason to hate yourself."

My smile trembled on my lips. "I know. I thought that if I forced the both of us to see all the reasons why happiness with each other was going to be impossible, I'd cure us of this madness. But we're not really mad, are we, Julian? We just want to love and be loved."

"You know that I love you," he whispered, reaching out to gently touch the side of my face. "All I ask is that you let me."

"You won't ask me to love you back?" I asked with an attempt at a laugh.

He smiled a little, his fingers catching a lock of my hair. "As much as I'd love to hear the words, Star, I'll wait until they tumble past your lips of their own accord because it's how you really feel and that you're no longer afraid of what they mean."

I took a deep breath, feeling strangely light in a moment I had long imagined would make me feel closed in. "Fair enough."

I leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his mouth, instantly drunk on the warmth and softness of his lips. I opened my eyes and smiled into his puzzled gaze.

"I love you, Julian," I said, my heart rate taking off in sonic speed. "I know what those words mean. The only thing I'm afraid of is that they might be too late."