Rowan

Chapter 21 | James

He had tucked her into his bed upon arriving home and laid down next to her. And she'd clung to him like he was the only thing holding her above the surface of the ocean she was drowning in.

She didn't talk, and he didn't ask her to. He didn't need her to tell him anything to know what she was feeling, because he'd been there. He knew.

His parents had hated him for enlisting. They hadn't said as much, but it had been obvious in the way that they let him go- without so much as a goodbye. And there had been no letters or phone calls when given the chance, and so one day he had just decided to let them go.

They say you can't make people stay in your life if they don't want to be there.
And they're right. Because when he returned home it was to discover that Ada, the woman he'd sworn to love forever, the one he would have done anything in the world for, had moved on without him.

He looked up from his breakfast at the sound of footsteps on the tiles and was greeted by both a beautiful and devastating sight.

One of his t-shirts fell a few inches short of her knees. She was all pale skin from there down to her bare feet. Her hair fell in tangled, haphazard waves past her shoulders and hazel eyes stared back at him; wide and rimmed in red.

She shifted on her feet, clasping her hands together as she looked anywhere but at him. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "That was embarrassing."

He pushed back his chair, coming to stand in front of her. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about," he said. "You needed someone. You called me. I want to be here."

She was silent, only looking down at her feet. He gently took her face in his hands and tilted it up towards his own. Her eyes showed many layers of weariness.

"He would have hated me if I had called about something like that."

James was silent for a moment; considering. 'He' was an asshole who didn't deserve to even look at this woman, much less be in a relationship with her. The bastard hadn't even had the courtesy to give her an ounce of respect, and his distaste for the man grew.

Except he knew that without her ex, he may have never met her. He was well aware that he had his own issues, and before that had scared him. But he also knew he couldn't let this chance at happiness slip away.

He gently propelled her backwards, taking her by the hips and lifting her up onto the countertop. She watched him silently.

Taking a small step back, he took her in. Yes, there was her tangled hair and dark circles, and the paleness that had washed over her from the recent events.

But there was also the fire in her eyes; the way she had refused to lie down for the people who were driving her into the ground.

There was the way she had only known a terrible, heart-wrenching relationship and had still chosen to give him a chance; to try again. She hadn't given up on love.

On herself, maybe. But not love.

She was stronger than she knew, and it was remarkable the way she could bring light into his darkness and not even know it.

But he wanted her to. He wanted her to know how lucky he was to have her. He wanted to help heal the damage that had been inflicted upon her. He wanted to give her a reason to smile every day moving forward the same way she made him smile.

He imagined someday waking up next to her every morning and seeing safety in her eyes as she grinned at him from under the blankets. A promise that her heart was his, and she wasn't leaving.

Finally, this was his chance to start over.

And suddenly he could see a life with her. He imagined taking her to the cafe and smiling secretively at her, and then getting down on one knee. He could see the way her eyes would widen when she was surprised, and he imagined her saying yes.

And in this dream Caden was a distant memory. Ada was nothing but a fallen marker upon his path.

In this dream, there was nothing to keep them apart.